While I could spend my time delving into statistical categories like OPS, HRR or GIDP, OBA or WHIP, to critique each players' abilities, I chose instead to utilize a much more comprehensive and valuable patented statistical formula which I have been perfecting for several years, and which has become a cornerstone of Those Girls' baseball philosophy.
Here's a brief run-down:
Each player can be evaluated, ranked and graded on two unique categories:
AQ: Adorableness Quotient. This statistic factors in not only physical attractiveness and characteristics, but also how well the uniform is worn, endearing personality quirks and traits, cute accents, fan-friendliness and any number of random traits I won't bore everyone with.
GABF: The Good At Baseball Factor. This measures a player's general skill on the baseball field. This can include a review of pedantic statistics like batting average, or ERA, etc., but not exclusively. This also takes into consideration how well a player performs when Those Girls are physically present at games, as well as how many ulcers we estimate a given player has caused.
Each player is assigned a number 0.00-10.00 for each category. The two are then added up giving a possible total score of 20.00 as a TAR, or Total Awesomeness Rating. It's all very mathematical.
Using an individual's or collective team's AQ and GABF, we can further determine where they fall along the Official Those Girls Line of Baseball Acceptability.
Anything below the line is lacking, anything above the line is gravy. It's fairly self-explanatory.