Friday, April 2, 2010

Twins Predictions: Better Late Than Never

I didn't want to miss out on Josh's Predictions meme here I am. I spent today looking for dolphins (BTW, is there anything cuter than a super-adorable Marine Biologist named "Noah?" I vote NO.) and buying citrus (no scurvy for me!).

But I think if I squeak this out before midnight it should count, right? Plus mine is labor intensive, so I should get bonus points.

I mean...I could just make willy nilly predictions myself....

OR I could make an origami paper fortune teller and do that instead. That involves finding paper and scissors in my Florida hosts' house, and googling the directions to make one (I haven't been in fourth grade for a very long time) and then actually making one (or 3) and taking pictures of it. And well...that seems like a much more reasonable plan.

Let's do this!!!

Twins-Specific Predictions
Twins MVP:

The origami has spoken. "Blue" and "6" brings me to Michael Cuddyer. See? This is fun.
Twins Top Pitcher:
Nick Blackburn. I love this fortune teller! (also, the color red.)

Twins Best Rookie:

He's still technically a rookie right? Obviously he is. The origami fortune teller would not lie.

Most Adorable Twin:
An interesting, but viable, choice dear fortune teller. Very interesting.

Bold Prediction: Joe Mauer doesn't stay healthy the whole season. I know, I know. I'm really going out on a limb there. And I didn't even use the fortune teller for that one. (I assume "Bold Prediction" means "Prediction most likely to yield a large amount of hate mail.)

A.L. Central Prediction (Standings): Another one I'll just do myself....1 White Sox, 2 Twins, 3 Indians, 4 Royals, 5 Tigers

Three Keys to Success for the Twins:
This is definitely a job for the 2nd fortune teller of the evening...




Hey...the origami doesn't interpret the answers, it just gives you the facts.
Rest of the League Predictions
Hmm. I LIKE it!
A.L. Cy Young:
OK. I'll admit that the fortune teller is probably wrong on this. But I guess he DID pitch that one inning last season, so anything is possible.
N.L. Cy Young:
Even a paper fortune teller knows that he is salivating at the thought of pitching in the NL.
A.L. Rookie of the Year:
Clearly the origami is referring to SCOTT Sizemore, who DOES wear pants in his photographs.
N.L. Rookie of the Year:
And the fortune teller makes the safe bet here.
A.L. Breakout Player of the Year:
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

N.L. Breakout Player of the Year:
Well, maybe once he gets off the bench. It could happen. Maybe the paper thought I was asking about adorable floppy hair or uber-niceness or something?

OK...unless I want to make more of these paper things and get busted to using colors like "Burnt Umber" and "Chartreuse" I will take it from here on my own.

A.L. Comeback Player of the Year: Ian Kinsler. Does he qualify? I have to pick him for something and the origami was not cooperating. Maybe if he's hurt at the beginning of the season, he can be healthy and awesome for the rest of it.
N.L. Comeback Player of the Year: Matt Capps.
A.L. Playoff Predictions: Red Sox, White Sox, Rangers, Yankees
N.L. Playoff Predictions: Phillies, Cards, Giants, Mets
World Series Prediction: Um...Rangers vs. Giants. Let's dare to dream.


Jeremiah said...

No faith in the Twinkies and their newfound riches and home? I suppose, it'll take a year or two to get used to the new field and quirks, plus Neshek being a little wobbly and Twitchy out.

I do love your AL Breakout player of the year. I'm hoping to see him in 10 days.

Sarah said...

Maybe Boof will make the trip back for fun, but he'll still be on the DL with his cranky groin when the Sox come to town. Sorry to disappoint :(

I'm not picking the Twins to win the Division because A) I think the bad karma of front-runner status is what injury-jinxed poor Joe Nathan B) The Twins always do better when they're proving people wrong rather than trying to live up to high expectations C) It's boring when everyone picks the Twins.

wepri31 said...

This is hilarious. Love it.

ahtrapsm said...

Cracking up at the thought of the South Park kids invading your home to steal the dangerous future telling device(s):