Tuesday, March 9, 2010

They Say Bad News Comes in Threes....

Yesterday I was hit with the blow that, in all reality, I will never eat a hotdog at a Twins home game again. I have some pretty strong opinions about the ickiness of Schweigert hotdogs, and I cannot imagine a situation where I would willingly consume one. Possibly, if I was under duress and the fate of the free world hung in the balance, I might consider eating one....but I couldn't make any guarantees.

And now this morning we wake up with the news that Joe Nathan tore his UCL, which leaves us sweating out 2 weeks of agonizing anticipation before he even touches a baseball again, and forcing us to consider who might be our closer in the worst case scenario.

People keep saying Jon Rauch and it's making me nauseous. More nauseous than I was while I was imagining being force-fed Schweigert natural casing hotdogs in order to save mankind, even.

See...I used to think Jon Rauch was interesting and novel, with his giant stature and terrifying body art. But then he was a total jerkoff to fans at TwinsFest (you don't have to take my word for it...there were plenty of first hand accounts of Rauch douchiness), and any goodwill I had toward Rauch disappeared.

While I am always first and foremost a Minnesota Twins fan, I have a hard time cheering for known d-bags, even if they're wearing a Twins uni....especially when they take out that d-bagginess on the fans. In fact, in Rauch's case, since there were so many reports of fan disgruntlement after TwinsFest, I was considering instituting a personal policy wherein I would only cheer for Rauch in pitching situations where the opposing player/team's Douchiness Percentile is greater than or equal to his own. If Rauch is pitching in save situations, this is going to make things even more complicated and emotionally stressful.

So, I cast my official unofficial vote for Matt Guerrier to be the interim closer, because he is adorable, good at baseball and always very nice to the fans.

But if bad news does come in threes...I'm a little nervous about what else might be coming down the road. Unless I can still count the whole Boof Bonser going to Boston thing.

22 comments:

Katie said...

I vote Boof is the number 3 cause I don't think I can take anymore bad news where the Twins are concerned :(

Betsy said...

count my vote in for Matty G too!

nelle said...

To quote my brother "I think a little bit of me died this morning"

sarahgymnastnyc said...

What did Jon Rauch do at Twins Fest? I didn't get a chance to actually see/talk to him but I've always kind of liked him, or at least didn't dislike him, so I'm curious. Also the Joe Nathan news totally ruined my morning when my friend texted me about it...

Sarah said...

Literally everyone I know who interacted with Rauch Twinsfest weekend had a story about him being rude to them in one way or another. Not OK. Everyone has a bad day now and again, but if it's Twinsfest...fake it or call in sick.

JimCrikket said...

I understand it's a contrarian view here, but if there's one position where I can be accepting of a bit of "nasty attitude", it's the closer. Part of me wants a guy out there with the "I'd knock my mother down if she crowded the plate" kind of attitude.

Sarah said...

Yeah, I see your point Jim. That's valid. And I guess I wouldn't mind it either if that's just the way he is to opposing players.

But treating paying fans at a charity event poorly? That's different. If he wants rude & cranky to be his schtick, that's fine, but then I think he should simply decline to actively participate in things like Twinsfest.

JimCrikket said...

No argument there, Sarah. Maybe next year (assuming he's even with the organization then), the Front Office will "excuse" him from Twins Fest, Winter Caravan, etc.

It really shouldn't take much effort to be fan-friendly one or two days a year.

Roger said...

Rude or not, I'd rather see Rauch step up to the closer role than Guerrier. "Adorableness" has nothing to do with winning ball games.

Baseball_Lipgloss said...

I am putting Rauch on Put Up or Shut Up suspension. He needs to prove himself out there...sure, it seems harsh but this ain't no friggin Wonderland (either Alice's or John Mayer's). If he's going to join a team, a community, a state..he needs to deliver. If he goes out there and shows us All-Star quality than maybe (a big maybe) I will accept his doucheness and ignore that for the time being.

It's a hardknock life, son and you're in Minnesota now. Sometimes you need to go to your Lutheran Pastor’s house and drink their chicory brewed coffee and smile.

Sarah said...

I guess I understand people feeling that way, Roger.

But when winning ballgames becomes my only priority, I'll just become a Yankees fan instead, I suppose.

I'd rather have a team full of guys who strive to win AND have a positive impact on the fanbase and community.

I've been to a lot of games where we have lost...hideously, in some cases, but I've never not had some fun while I'm there. If you only get wrapped up in the W-L columns, you miss out on a lot of the fun along the way.

I'm a consumer, not an investor. They can't guarantee me wins in return for the money I pay them, but they should guarantee an entertaining experience. My opinion is that having a team full of nice, entertaining (and yes, adorable) players is worth the ticket price win or lose.

But I'm sure you'll get your way, so don't fret.

Jon Rauch should be aware though that karma does help LOSE games. And the mere possibility of me wielding the magic of cotton candy flavored frozen concoctions in favor of his opponents should terrify him enough to scare him straight.

Sarah said...

I should amend my previous statement and say that the game where Sidney Ponson stood right in front of Those Girls, looked us in the eye and grabbed his junk was less than pleasant, although it probably still qualifies as "entertainment" by some very loose interpretation of the word.

Another argument for a No D-Bags Allowed rule....

Betsy said...

"'Adorableness' has nothing to do with winning ball games." - Roger, just because Rauch isn't "adorable" doesn't mean he's that GREAT of a pitcher either. He has yet to really prove himself here.
I really think too that a bad attitude can reflect in a players game attitude and their all-around performance.

Sarah- can i just say that yesterday sucked in general? It seemed like everything was just crummy.

Roger said...

Betsy and Sarah, I should temper my previous remark by explaining that I know full well that Rauch taking over the closer role, if he does, is no guarantee of success. And I would certainly not dispute any assertions that karma could have an affect on his performance. Acknowledging these things, I only said what I said because he scares me LESS in the 9th inning role than Guerrier does. Indeed, Guerrier scares me in the 8TH inning role, despite his apparent (to the fairer sex) charms and last year notwithstanding. Be that as it may, I'm sure that both of them (along with Mijares, Crain, and maybe Condrey, Slama, and Delaney) will get their chances to prove their qualities as a closer, barring, of course, a miraculous recovery for Joe Nathan. I fully agree that the Twins should remain the epitome of good citizens and good teammates and that winning isn't everything. But it helps. I've followed the Twins since they arrived in 1961 and through many terrible seasons. For a fan, winning is a lot more fun. I think the players might even agree.

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

Oh nevermind.

Anonymous said...

Just because Rauch at Twins Fest he did not stand sit or roll over on command like a dog...hes a bad guy..what a joke! Take a look what he did for the Twins when he came over in late August, 2009. He won 5games and lost 1 with an ERA of 1.7so he sucked did'nt he...Hello??
IF you have the time look at this:
http://www.idislikeyourfavoriteteam.com/2009/09/jon-rauch-ronald-mcdonald-house-and.html

Sarah said...

Welcome to the blog Jon Rauch and/or Jon Rauch Family member!

I appreciate charitable work. That's great.

However....I don't know what sort of outrageous requests the fans at Twinsfest were making, but I have a hard time believing it's THAT hard to fake being pleastant to people who have just paid money to talk to you.

I never said Jon Rauch sucked. I said the way he treated fans was a little douchey.

Betsy said...

Well put, Sarah! Anonymous commented on my blog too.
I'm sorry, but what is so outrageous of a questions of "would you stand up for the picture"? I was making fun of how short I am, not how tall he was. I know I'm short.

Plus I think my request to Justin Morneau was a bit more out there than "Stand up"...I asked Justin to pose for picture with Katie's lil nephew "puffing" up his cheeks (like he does when he bats).

Bet ya can't guess who humored us, and who didn't.

Charity work it great. Politeness and non-rudeness is ALSO great. No need to be rude to the people who support you and the team.

shorterthanyou said...

I bet Anonymous is Jon Rauch's mom. Leave us alone Mrs. Rauch!!

Sarah said...

And you're not alone Betsy! If it was just one or two people, we could maybe write it off as someone getting caught in a bad moment or something. But I knew 5 different groups of people that went through his photo line, and I heard almost identical reports of non-fan-friendliness from everyone. And I highly doubt any of them were asking much of him.

I will say it again: If a player can't fake being nice to fans for an hour or two at a time for a weekend in the name of charity, that's fine. But please just decline to participate in photos or autographs. It's not rocket science.

Lonster said...

Wait, I want to go back to the part where you'd cheer for Rauch if he's pitching against some player/team with a higher "Douchiness Percentile". That sounds like a fun list to make.