I must admit that I fudged on the iambic pentameter just a smidge. (My sincere apologies to my old English prof Dr. Neuhaus.) But I DID write this sucker in approximately 4 minutes, which should count for something, I think.
So, Happy Nick Punto Day everyone! I'm going to dig out the unicorn barrettes in celebration.
In style I celebrate Nick Punto Day
Pen difficult verses for the fellow
Who smells like dreams and looks fab in yellow,
The best piranha who is not a Ray.
Lots of guys hate him, but just let me say:
Adorable, fan-friendly and mellow
Turns many a lady’s knees to Jell-O,
To us, “More Punto” is always okay.
His taste in Eighties music makes me swoon.
Mentally block ALDS Game Three;
And he makes me happy as Fox’s “Glee.”
I’d watch a Li’l Nicky Punto cartoon.
Off-season crazy has set in for me.
Thank the Baseball Gods spring training starts soon.
And if you're looking for a suitable way to celebrate Nick Punto Day with your family, I suggest a read-aloud of How Nick Punto Came To Be. Very festive.