I had plans for a grand sweeping bullet-pointed list about the past year, or the past decade or something. But that sounded exhausting, quite frankly. So I skipped it and took a nap.
I have kept up with Twitter feeds though. Not necessarily posting anything interesting on my own, but I've been reading everyone else's. (Including Pat Neshek, who is the newest member of the Twins twitter family. He appears to actually be tweeting for himself, unlike a certain twitchy closer we all know and love.)
But my point was that I noticed today that a lot of Twins fans on Twitter were shocked and upset that Adrian Beltre signed with the Boston Red Sox, instead of the Minnesota Twins.
To those folks, I'd like to ask you to sit down. Because we need to have a serious talk.
I'm not sure how many times we have to go through this before you really get it, so I'm going to be painfully blunt with you right now:
Adrian Beltre is just not that into you.
I think that there might be a lost chapter to the book in there somewhere....
Chapter 12: He's Just Not That Into You If He Added Your Team To His No-Trade Clause When He Heard You Might Be Interested In Him
Because if he really liked you, he wouldn't find legalistic loopholes to keep you the hell away from him.
I know that's hard to hear. Rejection never feels good. But it's better to just be honest with yourself and face the truth up-front.
Sure, you can delude yourself with theories about how that no trade clause was really just a bargaining chip for more cash, and he didn't actually have anything against the Minnesota Twins. Just like people convince themselves that restraining orders are really just a sign of love. But in reality, I've never seen any indication from Beltre or Boras that he has ever had even the slightest inkling of the slightest intention of ever donning a Twins uniform in this, or any other lifetime.
Face it. He is just not that into us.
And that's OK.
Do we really want a 3rd baseman who plays greedy money-grubbing mind-games like that, anyway?
No. We do not.
So, honestly, we're not that into him either. We just have a bad habit of only wanting things we can't have.
We deserve to have rewarding and healthy relationship with a 3rd baseman who treats us with love and respect. We need Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now. And we should be patient enough to wait for him.
Personally, I am just glad he finally signed somewhere else, so the Twins can just stop calling him for good. We were really starting to look pathetic.