Monday, November 30, 2009


As I fell asleep last night, after putting the finishing touches on a month-long adventure in high speed novelling, I thought to myself, "Now something baseball-interesting can happen and I'll be ready for it."

I was ready for it when I woke up this morning. I was ready for some news. I was ready for some hot-stove action.

What I was NOT prepared for was an eyeful of Grady Sizemore's hot...stove... action?

OK, I got nothing.

One of the pictures I saw involved a cup of tea. Hot tea that may have been prepared on a stove. I thought there was a clever pun somewhere in there, but there's not. My bad.

Yup. Grady Sizemore had some naughty pics "stolen" from an ex-girlfriend's email account. And now the pictures are frolicking all over this little interweb of ours. Who could have known?

The MLB is reportedly taking action to remove the photos from their new online homes. They weren't fast enough for me, unfortunately. Let's just say I had to exfoliate twice to feel clean again.

Yes, Grady's Ladies, there IS a Santa Claus.

And although I am the opposite of a Grady Sizemore aficionado, I too will walk away from this incident happy. Because I already have a jump-start on a truly spectacular idea for next season's Grady Sizemore-mocking sign. It's going to be good. Trust me.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Is it sad that I still sort of think of today as "The Day Torii Left Us?" (Thanks for forever tainting a National holiday for me, man)

Things I am Thankful For Today:

-The newly released Twins Spring Training schedule

-Nick Punto

-Cotton Candy Milkshakes

-Inter-league Play

-This picture:

Monday, November 23, 2009

Short and sweet.

Congratulations Joe Mauer on a well deserved first MVP award.

Keizo Konishi--you kind of suck. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Also filed under things that suck: Miguel Cabrera gets a $200,000 bonus for coming in 4th in the voting, and Joe Mauer gets $100,000 for winning the darn thing. Hopefully we will just tack another $100,001 on to his gigantic contract offer to make up for it.

Mea Culpa + MVP Monday

I know, I know. Important interesting baseball-y things have been happening, and I have been woefully absent. Mea culpa.

If it helps, I have a good excuse. I'm participating in National Novel Writing Month this year, which requires you to write a 50,000 word (minimum) novel in the space of 30 short days in November. It's....demanding.

On the days when I write enough to stay on pace, I don't feel like writing anything else, up to and including scrawling my name on the credit card receipt for the take-out.

And on the days when I stubbornly do NOT write enough to stay on pace, I feel guilty if I even think about writing anything else.

There were a lot of those days last week, and I fell WAY behind. So, this weekend has been all about playing novelling catch-up. Between Saturday and Sunday, I wrote a pretty crazy 13,104 words. Which is a LOT.

But I'm all caught up, and I even tacked on an extra 39 words there at the end, just for good measure.

I may, or may not, be losing my mind.

I feel like my fingers are going to fall off, and yet, here I am. Baseball blogging away late on MVP Monday Eve. Because I want to just state publicly that if even one (ONE!) of the baseball writers casts one (ONE!) first place AL MVP vote for anyone but Joe Mauer (and by "anyone but Joe Mauer," I mostly mean "Derek F-Ing Jeter,") I am pretty certain that blood vessels in my facial region might actually burst in protest.

Anything but a unanimous vote for Joe is completely unacceptable to me. And I'm not even a crazy Mauer fangirl, so that should mean something.

And now to play baseball blogging catch-up too:

Though I was not particularly happy to say goodbye to our darling Go-Go, I am at least happy he's only going as far as Milwaukee. This is mostly selfish, because I live in Wisconsin and have unfettered access to Brewers games. In fact, I have always thought that the Twins should only be allowed to trade players I love to Milwaukee. It just makes good sense.

Also, while my expectations for JJ Hardy are being kept to a low Adam-Everett-Level to avoid disappointment, I am reasonably certain that JJ's AQ should keep him well within the safe zone on the patented Official Those Girls' Line of Baseball Acceptability.

So, there's that.


And to close, I just have a few Hot Stove requests for the Twins:

1) Try not to have anything else interesting happen until December 1st, when I can focus better. It's only another week. That's doable, I think.

2) When considering any further Non-Milwaukee trade options, please only trade players I really like to the following clubs: Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, or the Texas Rangers. Those are the teams I like to follow...mostly because their roster choices lean towards the adorable. And if we must trade any more players, I'd be happier if they went there.

I think those are pretty reasonable requests. Please and Thank you in advance.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

We're a little cranky now, I'm not going to lie.

Those Girls would like to take a moment to officially declare our displeasure with the whole Brian Buscher situation. As many of you know, our favorite motto is "Um, We Like Brian Buscher, Actually." So, hearing the news today that the Twins have outrighted Brian to Rochester. Which means that he will become a minor league free agent shortly after the World Series ends.

It's kind of an understatement to say that we are unhappy with this development. And I am stubbornly disinterested in hearing any arguments about this being even a remotely good thing. The heart wants what it wants, dammit.

It's a dark day.

In other slighly happier news, Chase Utley is making history with the whole being really good at baseball thing during this World Series. I, obviously, credit his very public love of puppies for all of his professional success this off-season.

I hope his success leads more professional athletes to declare strong pro-puppy positions.

I would still like to see the Phillies squeak out a Series win, but last night I found myself feeling just a little bit disappointed that the stupid thing is going to last at least one more game. I'm sorry, but the Yankees and Phillies are extremely poor substitutes for Glee on the FOX Wednesday night line-up.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Christmas just got more adorable.

I bought my Johan Santana Hallmark Keepsake Ornament yesterday.

He's pretty adorable, and I heart him.

My goal now is to figure out how to fashion a teeny tiny miniature Twins jersey for him before he goes on my Christmas tree.