Today's Whackadoodle Theory:
Boof Bonser was forced to leave the Twins because the addition of Jon Rauch last season threw the team's "number of players to number of tattoos" ratio way off balance.
It's as good a theory as any, I think.
Also, my last two long-term baseball boyfriends wore jersey #26. I've grown kind of fond of and loyal to the number. Please, whoever takes it next, PLEASE be awesome and adorable. I am begging you.
I feel like post-Drew Barrymore-break-up Jimmy Fallon in Fever Pitch. But I can't actually watch Fever Pitch, because all the Red Sox stuff makes me even sadder.
I'm sorry for fixating. I really am. But if anyone didn't see this coming....you clearly haven't been paying attention. I've been trying to emotionally prepare myself for this possibility since 2007. Clearly it did not help.