An excerpt from a real conversation with my parents, about my Johan Santana keepsake ornament.
Dad: Johan Santana? Why don't you have a Boof Bonser ornament? Isn't he your favorite?
Me: [cracking sound as my heart breaks yet again] They don't MAKE a Boof Bonser ornament!!!!
Mom, to Dad: Dear, if they made a Boof Bonser ornament, her entire tree would be nothing but Boof Bonsers and disco balls.
Me: [Nodding] Yup.
True story. Get on it, Hallmark.