Friday, October 9, 2009

Twins Broadcasting for Dummies

So, judging by myself and all of my Twins Twitter friends during Wednesday night's game, we all hate the TBS announcers with varying degrees of venom.

When you love a team, and know more about them than you know about several members of your extended family, it's tough to listen to a broadcast team who seems to be starting with a baseline knowledge of approximately zero. When your team also happens to be playing the Yankees, things get a little vomit inducing. Like when they suggested that actually, having a kagillion dollar payroll and being a successful team in the largest media market in the country is just such "a burden."

Yes, poor lil' fellas. Tell it to the team on the field who got 3 hours of sleep the night before and most of whom are making close to the league minimum salary.

Anyway, to cope, you have to see the funny. I subscribed to MLB's postseason.tv to watch the tie-breaker at work while the dvr worked overtime at home. It's fixed angle camera feeds (you can choose up to 4 angles to watch out of 9....2 of which are dugout cameras, yay!) with the TBS broadcast audio feed. Since it was the first night of postseason.tv functionality, I think they were still working out the bugs. For example, for most of the game, the audio feed didn't cut away during commercial breaks. So I was able to hear how ridiculous the guys sounded trying to frantically search for random statistics they could lead off with after the break, desperately trying to make them sound meaningful. There were a lot of conversations like this:

3rd inning: "Hey, if we go back to last year, the Twins haven't scored in 11 innings of tie-break games!" "Yeah! That's a great one! Let's go with that!"

"Wait, wait, wait! What's that helmet Joe Mauer wears? Is that like an '80s helmet or something? I bet it is. That would make a great bit. Somebody find out!"

And of course, when the Tigers scored 3 runs, there was all of the preparation for the next series. Who the Tigers will be pitching first against the Yankees, etc. Ha. Gotcha that time, TBS.

So, since I can only assume that their commercial break prep work involves Googling, maybe they will find this post. So, I've compiled some of their favorite Twins information they will probably need at some point, all in one handy dandy spot. You're welcome, Chip.

  • Joe Mauer is really good at baseball.
  • Joe Mauer is, believe it or not, FROM Minnesota!
  • Joe Mauer is pretty gosh darn tall for a catcher. He's 6'5"!
  • Joe Mauer has 3 batting titles
  • Joe Mauer has sideburns.
  • There are also 24 other players on the Twins playoff roster. None of them are named Joe Mauer.
  • Three years ago, Ozzie Guillen called some of the Twins "piranhas" one time.
  • Justin Morneau is injured.
  • The Twins miss Justin Morneau.
  • The Twins are considered a "small-market team."
  • The Twins couldn't afford to keep Johan Santana and Torii Hunter, because they are a small-market team.
That should be enough information to last 9 innings of TBS broadcast baseball. If it goes into extra innings, feel free to repeat the above information, ad nauseum.

In case you're interested in branching out TBS (and/or all you Yankees fans and/or bandwagon Twins "fans" who are googling them right now), Nick Blackburn is starting tonight and you can find all sorts of good information here.

10 comments:

k-bro said...

May I add:

* The Twins play in a stadium called the "Metrodome"

* No matter what the Yankees do, there will be at least one game at the Metrodome

* Twins fans like to wave "Homer Hankies"

* The Metrodome can be loud

* Kirby Puckett used to play in the Metrodome

* Next season, the Twins will play in a new ballpark called "Target Field"

Caryn said...

*bandwagon waving*

francie said...

i too ponied up the $10 and purchased the postseason tv thing. it's cool but at times it freezes and kicks me off.

Sarah said...

AND...sometimes balls get lost in the lights or the light colored roof!

Oh, metsgrrl. You're no bandwagon fan! You're an honorary Twins fan if I ever saw one.

Yeah, postseason.tv freezes up on me too sometimes. I think my expectations for mlb.tv products are so low by now, that if it works at all, I'm thrilled!

Mh said...

Well the question might be asked, why bother giving them information?

I watched the game and they were going on and on about Jeter while the twins were batting. It was amazing. The 2nd basemen for the yankees made a nice catch and my nephew says, "and he made that catch next to Jeter."

Your and K-bro's facts could only be useful if put into the context of Jeter.

for example:

Joe Mauer is really good at baseball, as is Jeter.

Joe Mauer is, believe it or not, FROM Minnesota, Jeter is not from Minnesota but when Derek was 12, he got Dave Winfield’s autograph in the Tiger Stadium parking lot .

Joe Mauer is pretty gosh darn tall for a catcher. He's 6'5"! Speaking of catching Derek caught the final out of Dwight Gooden’s no-hitter in May of 1996.

Joe Mauer has 3 batting titles speaking of numbers Derek started the Turn 2 Foundation for troubled kids in 1996 and Derek appeared on the cover of GQ in 1998, and has hosted "Saturday Night Live."

Joe Mauer has sideburns. The Yankees have a facial hair policy which is why Jeter is clean shaven

There are also 24 other players on the Twins playoff roster. None of them are named Joe Mauer. Jeter is also not named Joe Mauer

Three years ago, Ozzie Guillen called some of the Twins "piranhas" one time. Hey speaking of names..In 2002, Derek was named the #1 good guy in sports by The Sporting News.

Justin Morneau is injured. He and Joe Mauer are friends just like when In 1996, Derek and A-Rod stayed in each other’s apartments whenever their teams played.

The Twins miss Justin Morneau. Just like the times that Jeter has not been in the line up for the New York Yankees.

The Twins are considered a "small-market team. Jeter does not understand this concept at all in Derek’s Junior High yearbook, students were asked to predict what they would be doing in 10 years. He wrote that he would be playing shortstop for the Yankees.

"The Twins couldn't afford to keep Johan Santana and Torii Hunter, because they are a small-market team. Jeter will never play for a small market team

* The Twins play in a stadium called the "Metrodome" The Yankees play in the new Yankee stadium and people are signing petitions to get it also called the house that Jeter built.

* No matter what the Yankees do, there will be at least one game at the Metrodome MLB is looking into that and Jeter feels the game should be played because there are members of Yankee nation in Minnesota.

* Twins fans like to wave "Homer Hankies" Which makes sound, speaking of sound during Derek’s first year in the majors, he listened to Mariah Carey CDs as part of his pre-game routine. During his second year, he was dating Mariah.

* The Metrodome can be loud speaking of loud talking Derek ran up phone bills of $300 a month talking to his family during his first year in the minors.

* Kirby Puckett used to play in the Metrodome and was a great hitter like Derek Jeter whho established a post-season record for hits by a rookie in 1996, with 22.

* Next season, the Twins will play in a new ballpark called "Target Field" Jeter is always on target in his throws to first base.

Please know I actually like Jeter, he is the only Yankee I do like but TBS has their heads so far up his butt it is really difficult to watch.

Go Twins!!!!!!!!!

linda said...

The TBS guys reminded me of those idiots that talk during the dog shows.

Kristina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristina said...

OK my dad, who is usually super-calm, just turned off the TV and stormed off in a huff because he was so pissed at the TBS announcers.

p.s. did you know the Yankees have 26 World Series titles? And we only have two? Huh did you know!? I bet not because every Yankees fan ever only repeats it about every five seconds over and over.

Also did you know that the Yankees walk on water and that Derek Jeter cures the blind?

Jeremiah said...

When listening to any Yankees broadcast, does the movie Groundhog Day pop into anyone else's head? It's like they repeat the same thing about the Yankees over and over again.

Also, why are the Yankees playing the Twins at the early time? They are THE YANKEES after all. I suppose, Los Angeles is a mid-market team and not a small-market team. (The Dodgers are the Large-Market team in LA). So a large-market Red Sox and a mid-market Angels (or Halos... *vomits*) beats out a large-market Yankees and those Tenkeys... Twinekeys... that team that Joe Mauer plays on.

I was so sad last night. I absolutely want Dick and Bert to just jump the sound booth, tie everyone up, hold them at tazer point and take over.

Anonymous said...

speaking of Jeter: He has a cologne available exclusively from AVON. and I had Section 224 chanting "AVON, AVON" while he was up at bat yesterday.

Your welcome, Mr. Jeter.

--tammy