Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Whatever, Buehrle. You're not so hot.

Going into tonight's game, I figured the odds were in our favor. I mean, seriously, what are the mathematical chances someone throws 2 perfect games in a row?

But I will admit, I ALMOST started getting a little nervous there for awhile.

I had faith though. I never really even doubted we would would win.

Because I had a secret weapon. Not being willing to completely trust the odds that Buehrle couldn't toss 2 perfectos in a row, I brought out the big guns.

That's right. Buehrle, you might be nearly perfect, but even YOU cannot withstand the awesome magical power that is artificially flavored frozen Cotton Candy confections.

I downed a cup of Cotton Candy Itti Bitz in a fog of superstition-fueled desperation, and finished it off just before 1st pitch, as tradition dictates.

And lo, the legend of fake frozen Cotton Candy goodness lives on.

In order to keep the magic fresh and reliable, I have to save it for very special situations. I am terrified of wearing the magic out with overuse. I'm very glad I picked this game though. Otherwise things could have gotten embarrassing.

You're welcome, Twins.

What sort of magical frozen treat do you think one might use to ward off a trade with evil ugly Oakland?


Kristina said...

I credit you fully with our win last night. Well done!

Jeremiah said...

Hmm.. I dunno. magic helmet has an awesome record, but has faced insurmountable odds that even it can't win against. I'll say it was a combination of your Cotton Candy and my helmet.

As for Oakland trade... uh.. for me, there's not much that could be worse than the Tampa trade, so I'm good.

Michael Fishman said...

Thank you not only for last night's great win, but for a very entertaining post!

k-bro said...

I never cheered so loudly for a base-on-balls in my life.

Robynn said...

If you fed evil Oakland the blue bunny personals from the metrodome, they would never agree to coming here. Those things are like the worst ice cream I have ever had.

Word Verification: Hormel. Im serious. Its Hormel. How dome-like appropo.

Anonymous said...

Yes! Record setting pitching is NO MATCH for the cotton candy milkshake.