Monday, June 8, 2009

Pacing myself

It's hard to think of anything to say about the Mariner's series.

This is mostly because I am trying to pace myself.

We have a long way to go on this roadtrip, and we're just getting started. There is a lot of potential disappointment ahead and I would hate to use it up too early.

Uncharacteristically negative, you say? I suppose so... But I've been bracing myself for the suckiness that is our June schedule for a while.

Hope for the best (a miraculous turn-around of our well-documented road woes and dare I say it, even a series win or two), expect the worst (more of the same...including terminal team allergies to playing with a lead on the scoreboard and hitting with RISP), and keep expectations manageably low (just try not to get swept by the crappy teams, OK?) has been the formula I've developed in preparation.

So far so good. Friday almost made me believe in miracles (a win, on the road, in extra innings even). But then Saturday and Sunday brought us more of the same. But, we did not get swept by a crappy there's that.

And now that we're embarking on a 4-day series in Oakland (yippee), I've decided to do what I can to help the team. So, I've been Googling self-defense tips. Here's what I've found that might come in handy:
  • Don't look like a victim. Head up, be confident and aware of your surroundings.
  • Avoid poorly lit, remote areas. Lights, crowds and noise are your friends.
  • When attacked, you must attack back.
  • Almost anything can be a weapon (keys, pens, rocks...*ahem* baseball bats....)
  • When using found weaponry, remember: Anything you find that is hard and fast should be aimed at smashing against something made of bone, and anything with a point to it should be aimed at stabbing into soft tissue.
Good luck and be safe guys.


Jeremiah said...

Oh wow.. that last self-defense tip was great... I just kept thinking of Twins batters nailing the balls AT other players on purpose, in hopes of injuring them. Great visuals.
I know we have horrible averages with RISP, but the upside is we do get these guys on base, we do give ourselves the chance to win these things... It's not like we've been blown out on most of these road games... all we need is just one or two hits at the right times (Jason Kubel... how many have you had and missed?)

Word: rednere
Weird Al's parody of Hot in Here in reference to Mike Redmond when he does naked batting practice.

Anonymous said...

I'm filing a series split with Oakland under "Hope For The Best."

c'mon Meatballs style pep talk:

We can do THAT, Boys!

Twins Rule!