Friday, April 3, 2009

A Poem for Scotty Baker and continued Utley vs. Kinsler ridiculousness.

I wrote a poem for Scott Baker today.

Dear Scotty Baker, I'm sad you're broken.
My heart hurts, and I'm not jokin'.
Rest a lot and drink some fluids.
That Stone Henge thing was built by Druids.
Please recover at a quick pace,
So you can help us claim that First Place.

The End.


OK.  So, the whole Scott Baker thing make me naseous today and I don't want to talk about it anymore.

In other news, and this is quite, quite exciting....A mini-debate over who is the more adorable 2nd base option (Ian Kinsler vs. Chase Utley) errupted on the message board for our Battle of the Sexes fantasy league.  One of our Guys--Single Man Dan--posted some pretty convincing evidence in favor of Utley.  When I saw it, I almost died laughing.  If you've been reading the blog for at least a couple of weeks, you'll guess why:

Yes, my friends.  That IS a picture of Chase Utley holding a puppy.  Do you know what this means?  That's right.  Chase Utley is one mint chocolate chip ice cream cone away from stealing Matt Tolbert's potentially lucrative Adorable Humidifier sponsorship deal.

This is solid gold, baby.  

And, quite honestly I'm a little torn.    

I tend to think that in order to make a truly valid assessment, we'd need to level the playing field and see what Ian Kinsler looks like holding a puppy for comparison.  

What do you think?  Does this sway the "Who has a bigger Adorableness Quotient" balance further in Utley's favor?  Does Ian Kinsler get AQ-points-by-association for being teammates with C.J. Wilson?  I want to know your thoughts.
Who has the higher Adorableness Quotient?

Or puppy-lovin' Utley?  

Debates like these make me happy to be alive.

Guys, I want your opinion too.  There's nothing wrong with that.  To quote a lyric from Flight of the Conchords:  "Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?"

I think perhaps the most important point to this whole thing is that Single Man Dan, though he is my enemy and must be destroyed, deserves a HUGE amount of credit for having such a keen eye for all things adorable.  


ThatGirlinDL said...

First of all, great poem! But on to the important discussion: Maybe I missed it, but it could be possible you have ignored another all-important Adorableness Quotient here: the name factor. Which name is more fun to say and sounds more adorable? "Ian Kinsler" doesn't sound all too fantastic (but I can't ignore his first name - "Ian" sounds verrrry nice, there's no denying it). However, the name "Chase Utley" flows as smooth as a sharp knife through warm butter, especially when you say it like it's all one word (Chaseutley), which, in my opinion, makes his name more adorable. This adorableness quotient by itself won't determine who the winner is here but I do think it should be taken into consideration. Chase Utley holding that puppy is quite adorable, but Ian wearing his high socks and just plain looking adorable on the field is better yet I think.

Anonymous said...

Chase Utley all the way. The puppy is just icing on the adorable cake.

Anonymous said...

For me... it may just depend on the puppy


S.Rail said...

I say Kinsler. His high socks get me every time!

Jeremiah said...

So... if you are going to the Twins lunch and get Matt Tolbert, you should totally have a puppy and ice cream cone ready for him, take the picture, market it to Honeywell (or some other company that makes humidifiers) and ta-da!

If you can't get said puppy... Matt Tolbert holding Nick Punto and eating an ice cream cone would just be adorable enough to take the prize.

That being said... Utley's kinda goofy looking for my taste, so I'm thinking Kinsler. I'm also not much of a dog person... but after my kitten has turned out to be such a terrorist, that's lost it's luster too.

Anonymous said...

Chase Utley. Hands down.

Can 'Those Girls' do a Top Ten Adorableness Quotient List' ?

Anonymous said...

I hope this link works:

Candid, Spring Training Adorableness, for anyone who may have missed it


Katie said...

Top 10 AQ-only ranking in all of the Majors? This is intriguing.

Obviously, it'd have to be a Non-Twins list, because the actual Top 10 are all Minnesota Twins.

Really, the whole top 25.

I will work on this!

Anonymous said...

I think this is impossible to determine without side-by-side photos of each holding a puppy and maybe sitting on a merry-go-round.