Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The '09 Twins Fest Awards of Excellence

January=Awards Season. I think the Oscar pool is a little bit lame this year, so I am forced to make my own fun. Which brings us to the '09 Twins Fest Awards of Excellence.

I'm not sure what it is about Twins Fest that brings out the inner Joan Rivers in Those Girls. But over the course of the weekend, we become pretty exacting fashion critics. Before we get to the coveted "Best Dressed" award, here are some interesting fashion nuggets from the weekend:
  • The classic striped button down shirt is still a perennial favorite they're-making-me-dress-up-for-this garment of the Baseball Player.
[In fact, our biggest disappointment of the weekend came when we were wandering around the Skyway on Saturday night and saw 4 guys in striped shirts approaching from a distance....only to get closer and realize that they were NOT, in fact, baseball players, but just 4 dudes who apparently just all enjoy the slimming effect of vertical stripes.]
  • I think Boof Bonser might have financed 6 months of African civil war all by himself with the purchase of his wedding ring. It is very.......sparkly.
  • I have given Brendan Harris a new nickname. He shall forevermore be known as Brendan "Fancy Pants" Harris. Or, just "Fancy Pants" for short. It beats my previous nickname for him, "The Republican" which can only be said correctly if you throw in a smidgen of disdain, a heaping dose of soul-crushing disappointment, and a small growl.
But onto the main event. The award for Best Dressed Twin goes to Brian Buscher. A particularly classy looking striped shirt on Friday:

a plain white button down on Saturday (so as not to clash with any fans' ensembles in the photo line, I'm sure--very thoughtful), and a little more sporty, casual look for a lazy Sunday afternoon at the ballpark.

Of course personality is equally, if not more, important to Those Girls. And so, we award the title of Funnest Twin to Alexi Casilla. Which is quite a feat, considering he was really only around on Friday due to coming down with the plague that attacked the team over the weekend. It seemed like Alexi got more fun once Gomez joined the team, and now the student is out-funning the teacher.

It really looked like Alexi was enjoying himself. Good to see.

Not that Carlos is going home empty handed. Carlos Gomez actually took home TWO Twins Fest Awards of Excellence this year. The first is a new award I'm calling The Twin Who Makes Liriano's '08 Lines Look Short Award. As I correctly predicted, the Carlos Gomez autograph lines were out of control and the Friday night one was twice as long as Liriano's line last year.

The second award of the weekend for Carlos is also a new award. Best Dancer. Thanks to the brilliant addition of the Celebrate Diversity stage at this year's Fest, which included interviews in Spanish and various multicultural demonstrations throughout the weekend, we were treated to a display of Carlos salsa dancing. Let me just say that if all of my hopes and dreams come true and the Twins ever have a Dancing with the All-Stars event like the Red Sox did, Carlos Gomez is going to kick some ass. If he was on Dancing with the Stars, Len Goodman would never be able to criticize that boy for not having enough "hip action."

Awarding the title of Best Hair '09 was a particularly difficult decision. There were a lot of really excellent entries this year. Nick Blackburn stepped up his game. Nick Punto is a finalist every year, and this year was no exception. Craig Breslow made an impressive showing for his first attempt. And an enthusiastic tip of the cap to Bobby Korecky for really thinking outside the box and going bold with the faux-hawk on Saturday. But the evenual winner was Matt Guerrier for his effortless-looking, perfectly tousled coif.

Nicely done, Matty G. We were very impressed.

Another highly coveted Twins Fest Award of Excellence is the Golden Nose, which goes to The Best Smelling Twin. A little disclaimer, this award is generally only given to a Twin who participates in the fan photos, because it's the only way we know who smells good without being SUPER creepy. I'm afraid this year, I have to declare a tie. The award for Best Smelling Twin will be shared by last year's winner, Joe Nathan, and plucky infielder Nick Punto.

Kudos to them, or their wives, for their mad cologne choosing skills.

And speaking of Nick Punto, he will also be taking home an award for Mr. Congeniality....as well as another new pretend award I just invented:

The '09 Twins Fest Those Girls Weekend Achievement Award

This award is not intended to simply recognize one or two aspects of a Twin's performance, but rather to celebrate their entire body of work throughout the 3 days of Twins Festivities. This award is given to Nick Punto because, honestly, if Twins Festing were a competitive Olympic event, Nick would win the Gold Medal. Every player we interacted with this weekend was perfectly lovely and friendly and polite. But Nick Punto really goes that extra mile to connect with fans and make the experience a good one.

Those Girls feel like Nick should put together some Twins Fest training materials for all the young players coming up in the system. We think Punto's pre-Twins Fest checklist goes something like this:
  • Wardrobe: Sharp.
  • Hair: AWESOME.
  • Cologne: Smells good; not overpowering.
  • Personality: Sparkling/Disarmingly Charming.
What can I say? It's a recipe for success. I have a theory that if all of the Nick Punto haters stopped being hateful and observed and took some notes, they'd have more friends and girls would like them more. But that's just my opinion.

All in all, another successful Twins Fest. I really give the players a lot of credit. That's a lot of social interaction jam packed into 3 days. We appreciate the time and effort they put into rewarding the fans with a great weekend. Especially during flu season.


Chrissy said...

THANK YOU for posting an excellent review of TwinsFest (complete with pictures, even... awesome!) for those of us not fortunate to attend the event ourselves. Too bad you aren't able to provide names for the colognes worn by this years "best smelling" Twins to allow all of us ladies to get the man in our life smelling just as good... :0)

Anonymous said...

Of course Joe Nathan also smells good! Did I really need to know that? In a way, it just makes the crush harder...


Katie said...

Chrissy, I was SO tempted to ask Joe Nathan what kind of cologne it was, but I was trying extra hard to keep from saying completely mortifying things, so I opted not to. I'm sorry :(

tammy--this is precisely the kind of information that you DO need to know!

Curveball said...

I would like to see the Twins break up the photo opportunities even further, not just for kids, but for ladies, and maybe a time for "guys with huge bags full of stuff who also weigh more than 250 pounds."

Did you get a look at the "Down on the Farm." So young, so young. And that one's worth $1 million, that one $450,000, look there's one who's only worth $250,000...opps, there's one that is 18 and got $1,250,000.

shorterthanyou said...

So what happened to you and Bobby Korecky . . . and the BBQ? :-)