As if I needed more of a reason to hate Detroit.
I had a bunch of Frosted Flakes, Tony the Tiger, "They're GRRRreat!" jokes ready in anticipation of a Detroit miracle today. So much for that. And to top it all off, by the end of the game, they actually made me wish that Pudge Rodriguez was still in the Central. THAT is evil in its truest form. I needed to take 3 showers to wash away that shame. Thanks for nothing, Detroit. I sincerely hope y'all enjoy every minute of your long off-season, basking in 5th place.
Dear Kansas City Royals,
While I am still quite angry with you, I'd like to pause my "I'm not talking to you" status to congratulate you on beating Detroit in the AL Central standings. Because right now, I hate them more than I hate you. Barely. Nice work.]
Putting aside my angry feelings about today, it was an OK weekend. (Well....technically, it was an OK Sunday.)
I don't remember much about Friday's game besides the blackness of despair. And the guy in our section who yelled the exact same thing at every batter and took his shirt off 3 times. (And the fact that Those Girls cheated death on the way into Minneapolis when a landscaping truck driving right in front of us had a large shovel fly out of the truck at us. I'd like to publicly credit my mother for my super-human, totally awesome, life-saving defensive driving skills. Thanks, Mom.)
On Saturday Those Girls cheated death some more when Mike Aviles made no less than 3 attempts on our lives with foul balls. Also notable, Mike Aviles at-bats are SO much more entertaining if you make chicken clucking noises to match up with his crazy arrhythmic batting-stance. Trust me. File that tidbit away and remember it for next season. You'll thank me for it.
Sunday was awesome, but obviously would have been MORE awesome if it hadn't been so darn anti-climactic. But as hard as it was for me to leave, uncertain if it would be my last game at the Dome this season or not, I'm sure it was harder on the actual players, so I won't whine too much about it.
Sunday's game experience did inspire me to thrown in a little Those Girls Baseball Game Etiquette PSA/Dating Advice today:
There must a book somewhere that has told people that sporting events are a great idea for a first date, because I would estimate that I wind up sitting by first-date couples about 60% of the time. Maybe they ARE a good first date if both parties are actually into the game.... but I think it's important to remember that when your first date is at a packed sporting event, there are about 8 people in a 12 inch proximity to the two of you who are sort of stuck on the date with you, against their will. It's super weird for them....take my word for it.
So, be considerate when choosing conversation topics and actions. Because, as hard as it is to believe, it's entirely possible that the kindly elderly gentleman sitting next to you is NOT that interested in hearing you try to impress your date with stories about the donkey show you saw in Mexico, or watching you awkwardly try to grope him (your date....not the kindly elderly gentleman. But note that awkwardly groping elderly strangers is also not socially acceptable first date behavior). And ladies, I don't think I need Miss Manners credentials to point out that describing a donkey show you saw in Mexico is not appropriate first date material in 99.8% of dating scenarios anyway, baseball game or not.
So, first-date at the game considerately if you must, but let me offer up an alternate idea to counteract whatever book is telling people sports games are a good plan: A better idea for a first date is going to the zoo, because it's quiet enough to have a decent private conversation, you can give strangers an appropriate amount of personal space, and if you run out of things to talk about, or things aren't going well, you can just sit back and watch monkeys fling poo at each other. That's always a good time.
I would also like to credit this guy with an Official Those Girls Stoic Nod of Approval:
(I'm referring to the guy on the right with the TC haircut, not Liriano.) TC Haircut Guy, that's totally insane, and I love it. Keep up the intensity.
I need to get some sleep to rest up for a long day of Sox-jinxing Swisher-love mojo. Bring it on.