Friday, August 1, 2008

A Quiet Trade Deadline Day: My Bad.

The Twins didn't make any moves today, despite a lot of talk that they might. Specifically, Boof Bonser spent all day on the hot seat, with a few teams interested.

Some of you may have already suspected this, but I can now confirm it..... frightened about the psychic mayhem I could accidentally (or on-purpose) unleash against the Twins front office if this deal didn't meet my expectations, they graciously allowed me to man the last minute trade talks myself. I didn't like the idea of trading away my baseball boyfriend, but if it's that important, I can be reasonable and try to make a deal that suits us all. It was an exhausting day on the phone. Here's a summary of the deals I tried to swing.

Texas Rangers:
They get: My baseball boyfriend Boof.
My terms: In order to make up for the loss of Boof's great sense of humor and extreme adorableness, BOTH Ian Kinsler and C.J. Wilson had to be in the deal. Plus C.J. had to agree to let me touch his mohawk whenever I wanted. And in order to keep a delicate balance intact, we'd obviously need Josh Hamilton to maintain the proper tattoos/team ratio. And I also included a clause stating that they would need to simultaneously trade Milton Bradley to someone else, because Boof should NOT have to be exposed to bad influences. And then I demanded Jarrod Saltalamacchia, just because he has a name that is both fun to say AND write, and every time it gets cut off on our Jumbotron line-up list, it makes me giggle.
Result: They weren't that into it, actually.

San Francisco Giants:
They get: My baseball boyfriend Boof.
My terms: In spite of rumors the Twins were interested in Castillo or Aurilia, I went in a little different direction, and asked for Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain and Noah Lowry.
Result: Talks derailed when the League said "no" to my demand that Noah Lowry only pitch shirtless when he's healthy again.

Atlanta Braves:
They get: My baseball boyfriend Boof.
My terms: Not really liking anything they were selling, I briefly considered an offer for the entire Coca-Cola empire.
Result: I came to my senses and refused. Money can't buy Boof.

So, in the end, no deals were made. Boof stays in the 'pen for now. I feel a little bit bad, because I know he'd like to be a starter....but I can't say I'm really disappointed with the way things turned out, personally. If Boof goes away, Twinsfest suddenly becomes so much less entertaining for us, because he's the only player Casey can freely converse with without clamming up...and trust me, their conversations are legendary. (Conversely, I can say the most ridiculous things to ANY other player, but can only talk to Boof like a normal human being after a shot or two of hard liquor. This is why Those Girls are such great friends....we complement each other perfectly.)

In other news, if anyone was at the game tonight, I want to hear about the riotous situation. Watching on TV isn't the same. I need to live vicariously through you, so spare no details.


Jeremiah said...

In short, this is how it went down. First off, I'll let you know I was in Center(left center) HR Porch area (Section 103). We all saw Span square for the bunt, try to pull away and get hit, right? Well, homeplate Ump (or maybe it was the 3rd base ump) decides that the square for the bunt counts as a swing (WTF?!) Gardy comes out and starts making his case to the 3rd base umpire who was having none of it and INSTANTLY tosses Gardy (or so it looked to me, my buddy never saw it, I'll have to check the replay tomorrow)

If it goes the way I saw it, then this makes sense, because Gardy got enraged after not even having his case heard and just goes ballistic on the 3rd base Ump. After about 2 minutes of bitching, the 2nd base Ump comes over trying to make peace, the 3rd base Ump walks away, 2nd base Ump is now getting a full face of Gardy. The fans are in full chant mode, hell, he's 100% right in this case! How is a bunt a swing? And how can you expect a guy squaring up for a bunt to pull off fast enough when the ball comes right at him?

After Gardy's done slamming the Umps, he takes his hat and boots it about 10 ft in the air and 6 ft backwards and to the left... quite impressive for a flappy inanimate object (the hat, not Gardy, he's quite animated!)

As a result, some of the fans decided to toss their hats onto the playing field to show their support. Unfortunately!!! Some other idiotic fans threw beer cups, food and who knows what all else onto the field thinking that was the right way to show support. I'm all for fan participation and even showing the refs that they FUCKED UP! But some people take things way too far.

Ozzie took his players off the field, the Twins left just to get out of the way, except 1st base coach Jerry White who stood on 1st base like a bad ass MFer. (I think it was Jerry White, correct me if I'm wrong) The PA guy kept telling the people not to throw anything on the field because we could forfeit the game. *sigh* And yet, every 30 seconds, some other drunk fan would throw their empty beer glass or something, we never did see what they kept bitching about, so I can only assume it was a single item here and there. We were never going to become riotous at this point. Finally, we all started chanting "let's play ball" and they brought everyone back out. It probably wasn't as extreme as TV made it seem. I've been to Wild games where the refs made some bad calls which ended up costing us the game and the fans at this game didn't get to that level. However, if we had lost or had a run cost us as a result of Span not making it on base, things might have gone differently. But, he ended up being walked anyway.

Hopefully that satisfies... I may fill in some more gaps after I watch the replay tomorrow.

Jeremiah said...

side note, I just watched SportsCenter's review of the game. First, I DESPISE how football is the most important thing, apparently 336 days out of the year on ESPN! Second, it's amazing that no matter how much goes on with the Twins in a game, the Yankees and Red Sox will always get at least double the coverage.
All they highlighted on our game was Thome's HR, Gardy's spat about being 100% right and the 3rd base Ump being 100% wrong all while making fun of our State Fair and things on sticks being thrown onto the field (WTF?!) and then Mauer hit, Kubel HR. Took about 30 seconds. THANKS ESPN! Ya know what? I don't want a Twins game EVER to be shown on ESPN, ESPN2 or Fox nationally. I want Dick and Bert commentating because they are actually knowledgeable about ALL the teams! Not just the overpaid ones, and they never sound like assholes. (damn, still can't go short)

Baseball_Lipgloss said...

Wow! Thanks for the recap. That Girl and I were texting furiously back and forth trying to figure it out. At one point I was walking through downtown and stopped at a valet station to listen to it on the radio with the valet guys.

Right on about ESPN...although, one of their guys has a total bromance-crush on Mauer.

Jessica said...

You didn't try to get Frenchy from the Braves? He's cute, and he can gun down a runner at the plate. That's so hot. He hasn't been hitting to well lately though, but maybe a change of scenery would help.

Curveball said...

You'd probably have fun doing a piece on Jarrod Saltalamacchia and how he would fit into the Twins picture. Here's a guy that is every girl blogger's dream. A multi-million signing bonus, shows lots of promise, and he ended up marrying a teacher from his high school days (do a goggle search, fascinating reading).

Looking forward to your "boyfriends of the future" -- a look at Twin minor league prospects that female bloggers should be looking out for.

Girl bloggers rule! They bring much more than just stats to the world of baseball blogging -- good stuff like energy, emotion and pure fun.

S.Rail said...

haha...Boof for the entire Coka Cola empire...tempting...but Boof is one of the Twins and he must not go! (No matter how much he weighs!)

L said...

That is exactly how it went down. What a ridiculous game-- the atmosphere was so different. I'm not sure if I liked it.

I DID enjoy watching Gardy kick his hat though. I was sort of hoping he'd take one of the bases with him, like the crazy Braves minor league manager... Alas.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jeremiah!

Can you find a link to a video of Gardy getting ejected and the fans going crazy? I would really appreciate it!!

Katie said...

I haven't seen any videos of the ruckus online yet, but here's the ESPN coverage

Katie said...

L, I would LOVE it if Gardy snatched a base. But, yeah, I can understand not being wild about fan behavior last night. It really reflects poorly on the rest of us. And I have to question the antics of spectators who would risk forfeiting a game to the team ahead of us in the division, just because they think it's fun to throw things and look like jackasses.

Jeremiah said...

Stupid FSN!! They cut out the entire spot where the incident happened on the replay. I could only find one video on YouTube and it was from a fan with a horrible video cell phone.

I think Ozzie was being too much of a little bitch by taking his players off so early. Most of the fans were in support of Gardy, not against the White Sox. They didn't make the horrible call. But yeah, some stupid people (hopefully drunk) threw more than just the hats supporting what Gardy did and nearly cost us a lot.