I think it's fairly obvious what's happened here. Our pitchers caught a bad case of Bullpenitis from the Red Sox. This is a particularly nasty bug derived from the virus Suckeipitchtudae. Once you've caught the thing, you just have to let nature take its course and wait it out. Antibiotics don't help. Prevention is key, so in the future when the boys are facing a team that has had a recent bout of Bullpenitis, I recommend a thorough and aggressive hand-washing regimine.
But, what's done is done. While there is no cure, you can treat the symptoms, much like a common cold. And, what makes this bug unique is that the symptoms actually begin to lessen as soon as the virus has been transmitted to someone else. So, as a non-licensed medical unprofessional, I suggest that the best course of treatment is to pass it on to Detroit. The boys should arrive a little bit early to the ballpark tomorrow and make sure they touch everything. Invite some of the key Tigers players to a pre-game brunch, and be certain that all of them get a hug, high-five or fist-pound before they leave. Share water bottles and drinking cups with them whenever possible.
I'm pretty sure that will work.
As for me, I'm going to go cry now.