Here are my findings:
- On the days when I remembered to seriously send major love vibes out to Nick during his games, he did really crappy.
- On the days when I forgot and ignored/was indifferent about Nick Swisher, he did all right. The first night I forgot, he hit a home run. Then I worked the positive mojo angle and he did nothing the rest of the game.
- Nick's batting average was lower during this past week than his season average.
- It is freaking exhausting trying to love Nick Swisher. It takes a lot of mental stamina and a very strong stomach. I'm pretty proud of myself for lasting a week, actually. But there's no way I can carry this burden by myself for the whole rest of the season.
- I will, however, utilize this psychic super power at times of greatest need. Like when we're playing the Sox at the end of the month.
- In the event we're in a pennant race with Chicago at the end of the season, I will pull out my big gun secret weapon, and I will write an email to nickswisher.org telling Nick how much I love him. I swear to Joe Mauer, I will do it if the team needs me to.
- If that happens, I'm pretty sure we'll either win or the universe will implode. Either way, problem solved.