Monday, July 7, 2008

Our Journey to the Parallel Universe Called Cheap Seats

We started our Sunday by getting in line outside the Dome at 8:30a.m. to make sure we got hardhats. It was hot. Super hot. The radio told us it was around 80, but I'm pretty sure it was more like 518 degrees Fahrenheit. And the air around our gate smelled more than faintly like raw sewage. We discovered a new least favorite way to spend a Sunday morning. We were able to distract ourselves with Buffy the Vampire Slayer trivia, though.

At one point I went searching for bottled water, but the only vendors open were the Kettle Corn people and the Sweet Corn people. Apparently corn-based foods are big early sellers. Disappointed by my fruitless trip, I took a little side excursion to the player's entrance, just in time to see Joe Nathan (and Delmon Young, but I was more excited about Joe Nathan). It gave me a little extra boost.

Here's a phenomena that I just cannot wrap my mind around: people who are willing to wait in line for hours to get the promotion, and then go home. While we love free stuff, we love baseball more. The free stuff is just a happy bonus. I can't imagine anyone having a ticket to a game, going to the Dome, waiting in line, and then going home. Can anyone explain this to me? Thinking about it makes my heart hurt.

We sat in the cheap seats for this game, which made a lot of sense at the time we planned it...."since we have to get there insanely early to get a hardhat, we'll be early enough to also get decent cheap seats." Those Girls spend a great deal of time trying to definitively decide which level of seating best fits our personalities and preferences. We long ago decided we were not Home Run Porch people, because we find beach balls distracting, and I hate when people scream at me to help them start the wave. Depending on the day and what our priorities are, Upper Club and Lower Reserved (mostly just 3rd base line Lower Reserved) come the closest to being the perfect match. Unfortunately, I think we're actually Private Suite People, but our incomes have not quite caught up to us yet. But one thing I can now say for certain...we are not Cheap Seats Girls. It's too much like anarchy up there for my taste. It's a good deal for families, especially on Sundays, but it's just not for us. It's kind of like a parallel universe. All of the vendors are different....instead of our familiar and beloved Embarrassed Looking Cookie Kid, Cute Beer Guy, etc., we got Scary Hot Dog Guy and Overly Aggressive Cotton Candy Man. Thankfully Malt Cut Kid was a constant, keeping us tied to our own plane of reality.

After sleep deprivation & 2.5 hours of heat stroke-worthy conditions, I'll admit, it was hard to focus on the game for the first 6 and a half innings. Losing was kind of boring, so I used my binoculars to study Baseball Sociology...mostly just watching the players interact in the dugout and bullpen. The oddest baseball behavior came during the Kiss Cam feature of the game, when Boof Bonser appeared to be mesmerized by the action on the screen. I don't know if he expected to see someone he knew, has weird voyeuristic tendencies, or what, but even Joe Nathan waving a hand in front of his face didn't break his stare. It was bizarre.

I also should note that I'm completely in baseball-love with Craig Breslow now, but I'm keeping the specific reasons quiet for now, because I like having the bandwagon all to myself :)

But obviously, the most notable part of the game was the winning. I almost feel bad for the people who left at the 7th-inning stretch. Almost, but not really, because that's what you get for leaving a game early. These are NOT the '07 Twins. Of our 50 wins this season, 24 have come from when we've fallen behind. If you leave early when we're losing, you're taking a chance on missing an awesome rally. And this one was particularly good.


Baseball_Lipgloss said...

Oh Girls! You were right to doubt humanity by the start of the game.

Embarrassed Looking Cookie Kid, Cute Beer Guy
Holy crap! I know them! Or at least I know who you are talking about!

Katie said...

They're pretty distinctive staples of our baseball universe. I LOVE Embarrassed Looking Cookie Kid.

Baseball_Lipgloss said...

I totally bought cookies from him once and we were giving him crap about his lack of enthusiasm towards peddling the milk. I believe there was some mocking of Baby Jesus' "Pour It On", beer.

Christina said...

I wouldn't have pictured those girls as private suite people. In my experience, not much actual baseball watching goes on in suites.

I'm so jealous of your hard hats!

SARAH said...

I think we might've been in the same section ... we encountered Aggressive Cotton Candy Man too!

linda said...

good observations!

JS said...

Craig Breslow is awesome. He's also a really nice guy. Enjoy!

Curlz said...

Hey, I tried to get to the dome in time for hardhats, but my car broke down. I made it eventually but long after the hard hats were gone. I have found a section in the cheap seats that I like--211/212. There are a bunch of regulars there that sit in the front row.