Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Day-Glo A.J.

thoughtfully compiled a list of Likes and Dislikes about the game tonight. But before we get to it, I have to jump to my main Dislike, because it was simply too traumatic to ignore.

We sat down in our Freebie TwinsFest Upper Club seats plenty early to relax and watch the Sox batting practice. Without a great view, we initially assumed that the player with his back to us, sporting freakish bleached out hair, was Nick Swisher. Even in retrospect, this seems like a fair assumption to make. The boy has already displayed his penchant for peroxide. But, no. When said player showed us his profile we realized it was, in fact, A.J. Pierzynski.

Disturbing visual aid courtesy of Adam L.

It's hard to fully describe my reaction, but I think it's safe to say a piece of me died inside. A.J. and I have a baseball relationship that has withstood the test of time. Those who have heard the Story of Why I Will Never Boo A.J. realize that I have legitimate sentimental ties. I really thought we had built up a certain amount of trust between the two of us. I thought we had an agreement: I will love him no matter what team he plays for or how big of a jerkwad he is, and he will refrain from making drastic changes to his appearance that may cause dizziness and nausea. Now I feel like that trust has been violated a little.

In order to eventually sleep tonight, I have to believe that A.J. lost a bet. I the sneaking suspicion that Nick Swisher was involved.

I have seats right by the Sox bullpen for Wednesday, and I may be forced to ask A.J. what's up before the game. I have to know. I will for sure take lots of photos for further study. I am a little bit worried about the effects of staring directly at the hair though. I'm considering making a pinhole camera like we made in grade school for watching the solar eclipse. Better safe than sorry.

On to our lists.

Things we liked:
  • Kevin Slowey. We had yet to see him pitch in person this season, due to the universe only wanting us to see Livan Hernandez pitch.
  • Justin's home run.
  • Nick Swisher losing his glove and looking like a jackass.
  • The amusingly civil arguments both Gardy and Ozzie had with the umps.
  • Carlos Gomez's triumphant return.
  • Winning.
  • Ehren Wasserman's pants. They seem to shrink every time we see him, and this kept us entertained for three full innings. They have gone well beyond the Nick Punto Fit now , and are bordering on the Derek Jeter Fit.
Things we disliked:
  • Day-Glo A.J.
  • Josh Fields at 3B instead of Joe Crede. Both because we remember the hurt Josh Fields put to us last season, and because we kind of like Joe Crede and his socks.
Other news of note:
  • My Love Nick Swisher 'Til He Stinks strategy worked like a charm! Once again, I was able to render him completely useless. If I keep it up, he'll be batting 9th in no time.
  • Those Girls had the first fight we've ever had in the history of our friendship. It lasted approximately 2.3 minutes. It all started when I noted that Nick Swisher looked "too normal" with a normal haircut and normal facial hair. I explained that there must be some law of physics that prevented such an occurrence, and surmised that "there must be something seriously freaky going on with his pubic hair." Casey felt, probably justly, that this crossed a line into TMI, whereas I felt that I was perfectly within my rights under the Friendship Code which states that "any gross disturbing thought/imagery that is in one friend's mind, can immediately be shared with other so no one has to suffer alone." Thankfully, we were done fighting before I even finished my soft pretzel and exorbitantly over-priced cheese cup. That's how we roll.


Adam L said...

Hey there!

I'm originally a Minnesotan but (for now) anyways I live in NYC.

At any rate, I wanted to write a similar blog post about how frekishly terrile AJP's new haircut is. I couldn't find any pictures via google, unfortunately, but I was able to take a picture of the game w/ mlb.tv.

So if you want a picture of "Day-Glo AJ" here's one you can feel free to use: here

k-bro said...

I also have a picture of AJ's head on my blog...but Adam's is better. I just took a picture of my TV set, so it's kind of wavy.


Katie said...

Thanks guys! When I got home from the game, I scoured the internet looking for pictures and/or a detailed explanation of just how something like this could possibly happen. There was nothing. White Sox blogs/beat writers really dropped the ball. I actually exclaimed out loud "HOW IS THIS NOT FRONT PAGE NEWS?!"

Suffice it to say, if I were in charge of things, the nightly world news broadcasts would look a whole lot different.

k-bro said...

Oh, I forgot to mention Dick-n-Bert's reaction:

[camera shot shows A.J. without helmet]
Dick: What do you think of that?
Bert: I don't.
Dick: You don't think it's good, or you just don't think about it?
Bert: [with no humor in his voice] I don't want to think about it at all.

Mrs. Slowey said...

i have a pic of aj's do up on my blog. it's gross...not a big fan!

so when's the poll coming up on your blog for whether or not you should be in the roller derby? :)

Michele said...

well I said that AJ was the hard sell and you discounted me....

and then the yellow head....

I will see you at the game (well I will be in the upperdeck but I will hang over and see you) and I will be loving and gentle to the man on my desk top.

Anonymous said...

HA! I thought I was temporarily bilnded by a sunspot. Then I remembered we have a roof!


Baseball_Lipgloss said...

Whew, I am glad You Girls made it home okay. Thank Baby Jesus for that!
Is it strange that when I found out about his hair my first thought was "Oh crap, what are Those Girls going to think?" promptly followed by texting you. Oye.

Jeremiah said...

I don't know what kind of effects you all have, but it seems your survey for Harris's music might have worked. We heard 4 different songs for him coming up to bat. Including "JUMP"! (Unfortunately one of them was still "Cherry Pie")

Also, what happened with the Swisher lovefest and Nathan?

Skippy tastes better than Jiff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Skippy tastes better than Jiff said...

I think that there is perfectly rational reason for this move by AJ.

I think that everyone either wants to be called "Blondie" or wants to be the person who calls someone else "Blondie," so I think that there is room (temporarily) for a blonded AJ. (Remember in "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly," Tuco always referred to Clint Eastwood as "Blondie," and even I of brown hair was called "Blondie" when I lived in Mexico.)

The upshot is that probably AJ has no one he can call "Blondie," and so, he decided he must be the one to bite the bullet and become blonded. Now, when someone yells out, "Hey Blondie," he knows they mean him, and he can look up with a cold blue stare and say something cool like, "I don't thinks it's nice you laughing. You see, my manager just doesn't get it, so if you apologize, like I know you're going to do, I might convince him you didn't mean it."

Katie said...

Jeremiah, that is great news about Brendan! We do sometimes control the universe with our minds, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. But I am definitely pleased. The Metrodome PA guy is on FIRE this series...I love it!

Katie said...

skippy, now I kind of want to yell "Blondie" at A.J. tomorrow night. I won't...because he'll probably just think I'm being a jackass, but I WANT to.

tessa said...

so I read your blog pretty regularly but have never commented.. but this

"I'm considering making a pinhole camera like we made in grade school for watching the solar eclipse."

was so funny I almost peed myself.