Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Baseball Ennui and the Fish Taco Manifesto

I had a hard time working up much excitement for this series. Because,'s the Nationals. Last year was kind of exciting because we hadn't played them before. But this year, aside from seeing Delmon and Dmitri on the same field, it's just sort of meh.

Excitement wise, it's a rough team to be playing, because if you lose (remember last year), it's doubly humiliating because it's the Nationals. On the flip side, even if you win (like tonight), how much glory is there in beating the Nationals, really? It's not something you can gloat or jump up and down about, unless of course you're Seattle and you hypothetically beat them (which you didn't).

Still, a win's a win. Livan poured it on, hopefully providing a stop-gap for all the "Livan sucks" talk. There was some Justin Awesomeness. Things are good, I'm just being uncharacteristically unenthusiastic tonight.

In other news, Those Girls would like to officially voice our concern about the MPR Bleacher Bums' blog excitement about Walleye Tacos being offered at the new ballpark. Those Girls happen to be self-proclaimed Experts on Fish Tacos....our credentials being that I was once pressured into eating one while vacationing in California.

The Infamous Fish Taco Incident of '06

So, here's our little P.S.A. on the matter:
If you're ever looking at a menu and absentmindedly say "Ew. Fish Taco," and someone says in a very harsh and judgmental tone "Have you ever had a fish taco? Because you shouldn't judge it if you haven't tried it," it's OK to ignore them and order a waffle instead. Just because someone challenges you to eat a fish taco, it doesn't mean you have to do it. Be strong. But if you wind up ordering a fish taco anyway, then have second thoughts and your friend says "Don't wuss out!" it's still OK to wuss out. Because really, you're not missing anything. It is exactly what you think it is: Fish. In a taco. And if you wind up eating the fish taco, and you don't like it, and then you find out that the person who scolded you for saying "Ew. Fish Taco," had never actually eaten a fish taco himself, DON'T resort to physical assault. Violence is never the answer.

In closing, allow me to summarize with an SAT-like analogy:
Nick Swisher:Baseball Players::Fish Tacos:Food

If the new ballpark has fish freaking tacos but does not have waffle fries, Those Girls will never, never shut up about it. That's a promise.


Kayla said...


nick swisher probably eats fish tacos for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and all the late-night snacks that will eventually equal him getting fat(ter).

Katie said...

Yes...I bet Nick Swisher DOES eat fish tacos. It makes sense. I like the way you think!

Daymonster said...

I like fish tacos. Ballpark food, probably not but good food nonetheless.

I am on the fence on this one, I would like there to be something "Minnesotan" about the ball park food, and since lutefisk is disgusting, and Minnesota wild rice is not finger food, I think Walleye tacos is the only option.

What do you suggest as an alternative to the fish taco entree (waffle fries are a side item)

Katie said...

How are fish TACOS minnesotan? Walleye...sure. Walleye TACOS...not quite. Fish tacos come from the coast. We're just being copycats.

Fried stuff on a stick...nah. We can only handle that once a year. Mini casseroles...gross. OOH...Lefse wraps. That is my final answer. Lefse wrap sandwiches are WAY more local, and less icky, than Fish Tacos.

I left this out of the post, but I'm also concerned about people sitting by me eating fish tacos. Once our California friend's roommates were making fish tacos in their house, and it wound up being so yucky we had to leave and go to Jack In The Box in our pjs. If they are insistent upon the inclusion of fish tacos, I think I might start a letter writing campaign requesting that they have a Fish Taco Free Zone, similar to the Peanut Free Box for certain games.

k-bro said...

I like fish tacos once in a while, but I have to agree that they don't belong at the ballpark. Keep them at Baja Sol, which does a nice job with them.

Do we really need a "regional specialty" at the new ballpark? How about just serving the traditional stuff, but make sure it's really good? That includes piping hot, really crispy waffle fries.

**getting hungry now**


Katie said...

Really good ballpark's so crazy it just might work!

Some waffle fries in a mini-helmet and maybe a good soft pretzel with a cheese cup that does NOT cost $1 additional, and I'd be perfectly happy. Save the really fancy stuff for pre-game happy hours or post-game celebrations.

Baseball_Lipgloss said...

I am 1000% with you on the waffle fries. You have a genius idea about serving them in a helmet. Helmet Fries with an assortment of dipping sauces including seasoned sour cream. Hmm…I sure do hope the new park has an assortment of “ethnic” food. You may want to ban me from ever hanging out with You Girls again at Hubert’s but sushi would be yummy!!! Hey, it’s finger food!

Daymonster said...

Anything in a helmet is a good idea.

You conviced me against the fish taco. But not against the fish. There must be some sort of walleye in the park.

Katie said...

No worries Jen, we are a-ok with sushi.

And Daymonster, I have no problems with Walleye in the park. Seems like an excellent compromise.

So, I think between all of us, we have a pretty good plan for concessions. I will just sit back and wait for a phone call asking us to come on board as consultants.