Friday, May 30, 2008

A glimpse into the future

So, Cuddy and Mauer aren't going to shave until they hit homeruns. Remember last season when Boof decided not to shave until he got a win? That got real ugly, real fast. And then he wound up shaving before he got a win anyway, I think probably because it just got too gross.

So, I decided to take a little trip in my time machine (or TARDIS for the people like me who watch too many New Doctor Who DVDs before bedtime) to get a look at September 2008.

Meet Joe Mauer of the Future:

In the future, Joe Mauer still hasn't hit a homerun, and has a pretty significant beard going. Kevin Youkilis txts him just about every day to say that he is really jealous. This makes Joe feel a little bit manly. Joe no longer gets carded at bars on the road where people don't recognize him. Joe is in line to win his second Batting Champion title, and has driven in roughly a bazillion runs, batting behind Carlos Gomez and Alexi Casilla. Joe is settling in well to his new bearded life. Retailers across Twins Territory have had to put thousands of pink "Mrs. Mauer" t-shirts on clearance.

Back to the present time, I'm very proud of Kevin Slowey. He gave up a run to erase the shut-out, and the world did NOT implode, as Gardy seemed previously to think might happen.* He pitched a complete game anyway, and looked very proud, rightfully so, of that accomplishment in and of itself.

In other news, Jessica at Herrays! has put her finger on yet another reason Nick Swisher is the creepiest man in baseball.

*I am still just a tiny bit bitter about Nick Blackburn's last game.


Jessica said...

Funny how a nasty scraggly beard, can suck the hotness out of even the best guys. Brad Pitt can't even pull it off.

PatGLex said...

And then Joe will go on tour with ZZ Top! [Of course, I did not vote for JOe on who will homer first -- I chose Livan....]

Karleeee said...

He got a home run because of me, pretty much.

Badgered him telling him to shave when I saw him walk to his car after the game before I went to go eat at
Gasthof zur Gemutlichkeit
(google it, get directions, go to it. You will thank me)

Yeah. German food is the best food. NOM.

His face was shaved today.
He hit a home run.

Karlee is awesome.

ps: I miss you dearly, and I think you should check out my blog since I finally updated it. *gasps*