Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Return of the Bartlett

Yes, ladies, Jason Bartlett is still as beautiful as you remember. If Bartlett fans are free tonight, you should go watch the game. If you go early, and watch TB batting practice and cheer for him and/or hold up a sign, he will probably wave to you. Just an FYI.

I am an idiot and had my camera on the wrong setting AND the batteries started running out. So my pictures kind of turned out crappy and grainy (who knew that the "Sports"-setting would take crappy pictures of SPORTS) :(

And there was a great moment during pre-game stretches where there was a little reunion, with Bartlett and Punto. And then Jason Kubel joined them. I wasn't able to snap a picture, but not being one to disappoint you guys, I WAS able to put my superb lip-reading skills to work and can provide you with a pretty accurate transcript of the conversation:

Jason B: Oh my gosh, Nicky! We are TOTALLY matchy today!!
Nick: Yeah?
Jason B: Yeah! Now we're BOTH number 8, and we're both playing shortstop today!
Nick: Yay! I wish you didn't have to wear ugly "Away Gray" here though, because it kind of washes you out a little.
Jason B: Yeah, it does. But Tampa's OK. The food is really good. And sometimes when I have a good practice, they let me play with the rays in the tank.
Nick: Whoa! That's really cool.
Jason B: Hey, remember when they let us swim around in the tanks at the Mall of America Aquarium?
Nick: Heck yeah!
Jason B: That was really awesome.
Nick: It totally was. Hey, remember when you told everyone you hoped I would play 2nd base instead of Alexi?
Jason B: Yeah, that was funny.
Nick: That was really awesome too. I miss you, man. It's hard being the only piranha left.
Jason B: I miss you too!
Jason K: Hey guys!
Jason B: Hey man, what's up?
Jason K: Not much. I'm trying to be really good at baseball this year. It's pretty fun.
Jason B: Cool. Good for you!
Jason K: Hey, remember when we all used to carpool with Tyner, so it was "3 Jasons and a Punto," and your coolness kind of rubbed off on me and made me cooler by association?
Nick and Jason B: Yeah.
Jason K: That was really awesome. I really miss you, Other Jason. It's a lot of pressure, being the only Jason left.
Jason B: Awww. I miss you too.
Jason K: Hey, when the season's over, we should get Tyner and all go on a road trip to Six Flags!
All: Yay! Road Trip!

And of course, Jason Bartlett wasn't the only player affected by the TB trade. Brendan Harris had a little reunion before the game too. I couldn't quite make out which Rays player it was, so I'm just going to say it was Shawn Riggans, because we think he's cute. Here's what I could make out of their conversation:

Brendan: Hey! *waves* Remember me?!
Shawn: Um. Yeah.
Brendan: Awesome!
Shawn: Are you still Republican?
Brendan: Yeah!
Shawn: *runs away*

We were literally on-top of the Twins pre-game stretching, so I can now definitively say that Carlos Gomez is the most entertaining pre-game Twin. He's fun to watch no matter what he's doing. He's really a dynamic kid all-around. And he has cool hair.

Highlight of the game: I yelled at Matt Guerrier and made him look at our sign, which featured him photoshopped to be Wolverine from X-Men. And it totally got the Matt Guerrier thumbs-up of approval and made him crack up.

Other highlight of the game: Joe Nathan being Joe Nathan.

Granted, it's always distracting from the actual game when Joe Nathan fastballs are flying in front of your face...but it's totally worth it.

As for the boyfriend, it was a really difficult call for us. In the end, old habits die hard, and we decided to make Jason Bartlett the B.O.D. again. Because, though we can't PROVE it, we suspect that there were a few times when Jason didn't reach quite as far as he could have, or run as fast as he could, in an effort to let the Twins win and make Those Girls happy. And he succeeded. Plus, he got dirty on the basepath for us in the 9th.

It should be noted that in the event an actual CURRENT Twins player were awarded status of Boyfriend today, it would be Brendan Harris. He was pretty helpful in the 8th, plus he had that spectacularly entertaining angry bat-throwing temper tantrum when he struck out once.

And I kind of feel that, purely for the joy and happiness that he brought into my heart, TB pitcher James Shields should get some kind of honorary award. I don't know if anyone else saw it, but when he checks the runner at 1B, he does this head ducky twirl thing that totally reminds me of the velociraptors in Jurassic Park. After the 3rd time he did it, I started making the velociraptor "rrrwowrrr" sound in my head every time, and it made me laugh harder than pretty much anything else.

If I had known about this before, I would have worn my "No Velociraptors" shirt from the XKCD store. It's kind of my favorite non-twins shirt ever. Now I will call it my "James Shields Shirt"

[Edit: I talked to my mother, and she asked how the game was. Then she asked "Did Jason Bartlett throw the game for the Twins? Because it looked like he might have." I did not even prompt her to ask that. So, it must be true.]


L said...

That poster of Shaggy sounds AMAZING.

And the Republican jab... a friend of mine and I had a conversation last night about Harris that went like this:

Friend: Dude, Harris is bleeding!
Me: Really? Republicans BLEED? Next you'll tell me they have souls.
Friend: No, that's definitely pushing it.

Katie said...

Yeah, the sign is pretty sweet. We're going to keep taking it to games until we win those lottery tickets, dammit. I'll post pictures of it sometime after it's been retired from use.

Karleeee said...

Aw I remember 3 jasons and a punto!
Hahaha Kubels hummer.

And the whole republican thing made me giggle.

I miss your comments, love

Oh when Bartlett over threw that ball it scored two runs, so if he didn't do that, we obviously wouldn't of won because scorig is rare for us hahaha. Oh Bartlett and your errors at short stop.
I still swear he's still playing out at ss since everett likes to not catch things, kinda like Bartlett. Haha.

linda said...

I saw some girls with a sign on TV and wondered if it was you girls.
Jason looked as adorable as before. (I can say that because my kids are his age)I miss him.

Baseball_Lipgloss said...

Oh girls, you are f-ing hilarious! Your texts had me rolling (especially the improper one about Riggins.)

I should have found out where the girl who won the Lottery Circle was sitting and you could have rumbled with her.

Benjamin Fribley said...

This is the best baseball blog on the internet. Velociraptors, baseball and XKCD? You've made this geeky college guy happy.