Monday, April 21, 2008

Refusing to eat pickles, and other off-day nonsense.

A few random things. Because I'm bored.

Once More With Feeling
The new Twins commercial is by far my favorite of the lot. It really makes me think that there is a girl working at Periscope who is just like me. (C' KNOW it's a girl.) I imagine the pitch went something like this:

"Hey, you know what would be a great idea? Let's get all the pitchers together and make them sing a song for my own personal amusement, um...I mean in order to sell more tickets."

I can't even pick a favorite performance. They're all too good. Well...really, they're all bad. But bad in a good way. If they were all great singers it wouldn't be nearly as fun.

What a Difference a Day Makes
I was sifting through the comments on Howard's latest blog, and I found this comment:
"I went to the Twins 20th reunion for the 87 team, and Bonser was the pitcher that night. He was doing his warm ups, and he’d already been on the verge of being demoted. I was sitting about 9 rows up from the bullpen and he was standing their bitching to Joe Mauer about the trucks, and the time, and blah blah blah… Instead of being appreciative he was being a jerk… and as soon as it quieted down from the cheering I yelled to him…

HEY BOOF don’t worry, you’ll just have to get shelled in the 4th inning instead of the fifth tonight so you can get out of the showers and feed yourself at the local OLD COUNTRY BUFFET.

He stared at me, Joe Mauer turned around, and the fans around me looked at me like I’d just committed a mortal sin."

I found it noteworthy for a couple different reasons...

1) Sorry, but from 9 rows up, you have NO idea what the players on the field are actually saying. We've sat in the first row in front of the bullpen a few times, and we couldn't hear a word they said. Even that time we brought a Listen Up! device for that very purpose. True story. So, the commenter loses his story-telling credibility right off the bat.

2) We actually were sitting in the front row in that section for the game BEFORE the one he (you KNOW it's a guy) is referring to. If I had been there just one day later, I'd be in prison right now for assault and battery. Whew. I really dodged a bullet there.

A Blast from the Past
I was looking through some of my old Twins yearbooks last night for a little project I'm working on. (I actually look at my old Twins yearbooks way more frequently than I look at my old high school yearbooks.) Some of the 2002 Get to Know 'Em facts and tidbits are really entertaining, but I've forgotten some of them in order to make room in my brain for new information. Like the fact that A.J. Pierzynski went to the same high school as NSYNC's Joey Fatone. It's doubly funny because it reminds me of the fact that in 2002 this was relevant information. (Whereas Chicago's yearbook probably says "A.J. went to the same high school as Dancing with the Stars' Joey Fatone.")

Other facts I've since forgotten: Joe Mays ate a #2 Value Meal at McDonalds before every start. Jack Cressend ate sushi 3-5 times a week. Corey Koskie's high school nickname was "Doctor of Style." In the off-season, Everyday Eddie frequently went on ride-alongs with the Stockton Police Dept. Good stuff.

My personal favorite though is Luis Rivas. I never actually did forget his, because it was so funny to me at the time. His just says: "Rivas refuses to eat pickles." For some reason, I picture a couple of Twins PR interns with clipboards trying to force-feed Luis Rivas pickles, then giving up and saying "All right. Let's put him down as 'Refuses to eat pickles.'" For some reason, "Refuses to eat pickles" is sooo much funnier than just saying "doesn't like pickles." I don't know why.


Tricia said...

Thanks for sharing that commercial. I hadn't seen it yet. It's're right, it wouldn't be funny if they could actually sing.

A lot of the people who leave comments on the Star Tribune blogs say the dumbest things ever.

Katie said...

It so frequently turns into a Who Hates Nick Punto More contest.


Shame too, because the blogs are all so good.

Jessica said...

Oh my gosh that commercial is hilarious. It's even funnier when you think about these big strong guys who probably wanted nothing to do with singing for a commercial.

S.Rail said...

I love that commercial! (expecially Nathans solo!) But it would have been better with Slowey in it...

L said...

Slowey is in it, I think, on the bottom right next to Nick Blackburn... it took a lot of pausing and trying to focus on a blurry face, but I'm pretty sure he's there.

I think the grounds crew guy swaying with the hose is pretty good...

I've watched that ad like 18x. It is still the best thing I've ever seen.