Thursday, March 13, 2008

Reasons to Like Livan.

If Livan indeed is our man for Opening Day, and all indications point in that direction, I need to find a way to get behind that decision. I'm no fair-weather fan, and when I climb the approximately 7,058 steps to my seat at the top of the freaking Dome on Opening Day*, I don't want to be at all unenthusiastic, grumpy or bitter about anything. I've discovered that if you drink a $6 beer fast enough, it works almost as well as 2 $3 beers. So, I plan on drinking a lot of expensive beer really fast, once again. So, I'm sure that will help with the enthusiasm. But just to be on the safe side, I've been compiling a list of things to like about Livan Hernandez.

  • His brother is Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez, and "El Duque" is a super cool nickname.
  • He was the '97 World Series MVP for the Marlins, and played with Luis Castillo....who I legitimately DO like. Something must've rubbed off....right?
  • Livan's nickname is "Spanky." Well...it is NOW...that I've given it to him.
  • He's reportedly good at hitting. Which doesn't really mean anything for us in the A.L....but I still appreciate it. Could help during Interleague.
  • Livan is from Cuba. Adam Rodriguez from CSI: Miami is 1/4 Cuban. I really like Adam Rodriguez.
  • Adam Rodruiguez wanted to be a professional baseball player when he was younger. So did Livan.
  • Sometimes I drink mojitos, and they are also from Cuba.
  • He has a wife and kids. Which, apparently, makes people more likable. This is why, in TV shows and movies, people who are held at gunpoint tell their attackers that they have wives and children. (If I was held at gunpoint, I would be totally screwed. "Please don't kill me...I need to know what happens to Dean on Supernatural.")
  • Livan likes rabbits.**
  • "Livan" is an anagram for "Anvil." Anvils are funny.


And that's all I've got for now. I'm sure I can think of tons more by the time the doors open on the 31st. So, no worries Livan Spanky. I've got your back.




*I'm considering hiring a Sherpa for the trek. If you know of a good one in the Metro area, get in touch.

**This is pure speculation. But very important nonetheless, as when I was 7, this was the sole qualification I used to choose my friends.

2 comments:

Baseball_Lipgloss said...

Love, love, love your reasons for liking Livan.
Livan is from Cuba. Adam Rodriguez from CSI: Miami is 1/4 Cuban. I really like Adam Rodriguez.
I completely agree with this reason.
(If I was held at gunpoint, I would be totally screwed. "Please don't kill me...I need to know what happens to Dean on Supernatural.")
Hey, if I was holding someone at gunpoint that reason would totally save a life.

Oh, if you find a Sherpa let me know. I am in need of one for my thirty rows of hell.

Katie said...

I'm trying to picture you all gun-pointy and homicidal. It's super funny.

I'm trying to figure out a way to balance my desire to drink beer on Opening Day with my desire NOT to climb up and down 30 rows for bathroom breaks. I don't think even a Sherpa can help me figure that one out.