It’s the night before baseball, and here at my house,
My drink I was stirring, while getting real soused.
It’s only pre-season, but what do I care,
Baseball is baseball, up here or down there.
My puppies were nestled in their cute doggy beds,
As I logged on to the internet to google the Reds.
I got tired and started to doze by the screen,
I hadn't had my necessary amount of caffeine.
When out on my lawn there arose so much noise,
I ran to the window, and I spied all our boys!
I walked out in the cold, and saw Papa Gardy,
And asked him the purpose of this loud late night party.
“Well, we knew you were nervous, so we all want to say
That we’ve practiced and practiced, and we’re ready to play!
Scott Baker’s pitching, plus position players,
And we have that new center fielder who’s faster than Reyes!*”
“Yes, I’m glad we might have some new players to keep,
But Gardy, these boys! They all need their sleep!”
I made them some cocoa and told them to leave soon,
Reminding them all that their game starts at NOON**.
Gardy whistled and shouted and called them by name
“Now Casilla, Cuddyer, Monroe and Gomez!
On Mauer! On Lamb! On Jones and Harris!***
Swing for the fences, and over the wall,
Hit home runs, hit home runs, hit home runs all!”
Then laying his finger aside of his nose,
Smelling those future R.B.I., I suppose,
Gardy called for his team to get back on their plane,
To head back to
And I heard him explain as they flew into the sky,“Don’t you dare lose tomorrow, and make Those Girls cry!”
*Jose, not Dennys. Although he's probably faster than Dennys too. Just a guess.
**1:05 EST, but that's harder to rhyme.
***And Jason Kubel. I didn't forget you...you just ruined the flow. Sorry, man.