Thursday, December 27, 2007

Survey Says.....

RonDL White was an answer on Family Feud today.

Which is weird enough.

But it gets weirder.

The question asked people to name a famous person, real or fictional, with the last name "White."

So, you have all the major ones, like Betty, and Vanna and Barry. And Snow.

But then there was one more blank. Neither family got it.

Survey Says.....

"Rondell/Ron White."



Rondell White and Ron White are SO not the same person.

At all.

One is an aging and frequently broken outfielder/DH named in the Mitchell report as "needing HGH to stay on the field."

One calls himself "Tater Salad."

OK, I guess in fairness, they both might call themselves Tater Salad. (What goes on in the privacy of RonDL's home is between him and his god.) But only one of them has made a career of it.

It was just random weirdness. I thought I should share.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Hi-Ho Silva.....

Carlos Silva is officially a Mariner. Good for him. That's a LOT of money they're shelling out for his services. The M's fans better start making their Christmas Wishes that GOOD Carlos is the one who signed the contract, and not his alter-ego Inconsistent Ulcer-Inducing Carlos.

Alter-egos can be a bitch sometimes.

Monday, December 17, 2007

My Jesse Crain Christmas Wish

There's a touching story about Jesse Crain and Glen Perkins being jolly and giving back to the community for the holidays. It's sweet of them. It really is.

Which makes me feel a teensy bit guilty about what I'm going to write next.

Oh well.

There was a picture of Crain:

with a caption that reads: "Reliever Jesse Crain taught baseball skills to children from the Courage Center during the annual Twins Holiday Week of Giving. "

This is an admirable thing and I am certainly going to baseball hell (if not REAL hell) for it, but my first reaction was:

"Jesse Crain knows baseball skills?"

And shortly after that....

"Those who can do....those who can't teach..."

and shortly after that I just dissolved into laughter.

I'm sorry Jesse Crain. I really am.

So, this year, my one and only Christmas wish is for YOU.

This Christmas, I wish for Jesse Crain to pull a Jason Kubel and makes me eat my words. Make me feel really sorry and ashamed for all of the mean, but sometimes mildly amusing, comments I make about you.

Granted, I didn't make that many during the '07 season....but that's only because you weren't playing.

Prove me wrong. Make me look like an ass.

Jesse Crain, be awesome at baseball in '08.

You can do it. I know you can. It will be our Christmas Miracle...just a couple months later.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Crabby mood.

So, today I wake up to find out that we're keeping Juan Rincon and getting rid of Jason Tyner.

I get that we already have too many outfielders with Young and Monroe (Monroe....really?!) but I still think this is crap.

Now I'm in a crabby mood. I love Jason Tyner. He was my utility boyfriend in a pinch.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Hey now.

If Miguel Tejada can command a FIVE-player price tag, I think Johan Santana should net us enough players to field a team by themselves.

Quit low-balling us, y'all.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Hungry for baseball

I suppose that no news is good news.

I hate to sound disappointed that we still have Santana. I'm NOT. I love Santana. LOVE him.

But I, along with 99% of the rest of Twins Territory, got all geared up for some huge trade.

and.....nothing. It was just sort of a let-down. Especially since I spent every night of the Winter Meetings sitting up into the wee hours of the morning hitting "refresh" on What a waste.

I'm totally ok with keeping him though, if that's what we're going to do. I'd prefer to keep him under the circumstance of Pohlad having a Grinchy heart-growing change in perspective and re-signing him....but whatever. If we get an extra year of Santana, that's good too.

Those Girls are getting together tomorrow to make strategic plans for TwinsFest, which is a mere 48 days away. These plans are bound to include re-examining our list of priorities for autographs (if Santana stays with us AND is at TwinsFest, can you imagine what THAT line is going to look like?! I will need to go through Boof and Brian Buscher's lines at LEAST three times, I think) and trying to decide which metro area hotel to risk ax murder at this time. The planning process will also include beer I think. That is a very important component. As I very wisely, and drunkenly, stated once: "Mmm. Beer makes me hungry for baseball!"

Monday, December 3, 2007

The Santana Clause

With Christmas just around the corner, the Santana trade, along with his no-trade clause making headlines due to the fact that he claims he will refuse any trade after the season starts.....

Why isn't the phrase

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santana Clause

more widely used?

Too bad the Washington Nationals aren't in the mix......then that would just be TOO awesome for words.

*Note to self: stop taking loopy medicine before getting online.*

Sunday, December 2, 2007

This ain't a scene.

So, Jacoby Ellsbury is on the table too.

NOW we're talking.

I like a Ellsbury Minus Lester Plus Anyone-x2 package from the Red Sox more than I like a Hughes Plus Melky Plus Anyone package from the Yankees, actually.

Not that my opinion is based on anything at all substantial or quantifiable....

Here's my list of reasons to trade for Ellsbury:

1. Not being a Yankee, I don't have quite the built up aversion to him to overcome. Sorry, but it would/will take me a good long while to come to grips with having to cheer FOR Melky Cabrera.

2. His name is Jacoby. Which is fun to say.

3. He is pretty.

Very, very pretty. (to be fair....Phil Hughes isn't NOT pretty....but that leads me to my next point......)

4. Ellsbury is a bit older. I'd love to say that this is important because he's more proven, experienced, etc...(which may or may not be relevant) but mostly it's just because I feel less pervy thinking about how pretty he is if he's been able to legally imbibe alcohol for at least a year or two.

And thus, my hope for Jacoby.

(It really IS fun to say! Try it!)

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Preemptive Baseball Blogging

Potentially being snowed in at work all weekend, I'm just going to blog my thoughts on this now, premature though they may be.

I hate the thought of losing Johan.

I know logically, it's our best option in the long run. If they aren't willing to pay him, at least get something for him.

I still hate the thought of being Santana-less though. It breaks my heart.

It breaks my heart even more, and makes me nauseous, thinking about him in those goddamn Yankee pin-stripes. Blech. (Not that the Red Sox are much better.)

But there has been a lovely little bright spot in this for me.

It cheers me up to know that the Twins have the Yankees' proverbial balls in a vice grip with this situation. It makes me giggle.

"Oh, you don't want to give us Phil Hughes? Guess what? No deal without Phil Hughes."

And then just an added little twist of those proverbial balls.

"Give us what you want, or we give him to Boston. Oh hate them, don't you?"

I love it.

And now with Hughes officially on the table, everyone seems to agree that the deal is imminent.
I'm going to miss you Johan. My mother will too. She thinks you're one of the cutest boys in the world. (Along with David Boreanaz, Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Kevin Slowey.) And you're good at baseball. Please don't become evil, ok?

Adios, mi amigo. No me gustan Los Yankees, pero siempre te quiero.