Friday, August 31, 2007
I was so careful not to say/think/write ANYTHING that might possibly jinx what Scotty Baker was cooking up.
But alas....Mike Sweeney ruined it all anyway. He could have let us have that ONE thing that would make us all ecstatic and happy and not think about the deepish little hole we've dug ourselves into.
Still, a win is a win. And a complete game shut-out is a complete game shut-out.
And holy crap I love Scotty Baker.
[EDIT: And here's an awesome little item for the Nick Punto in all of us.]
[EDIT 2: OK, once again, that sounded way dirtier than I meant it to.]
[EDIT 3: ANOTHER ONE! Best. store. ever.]
[EDIT 4: I really need to stop this and do something productive.....but c'mon. Like that's going to happen.]
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Seriously. I swear that they are not. Trust me.
You can do it. Get over your Cleveland complex, please.
Top of the 5th:
I join the game, we're down 0-7. Ouch. Seven.
But wait..... There's a little life left in us......Thank you Mike Redmond, Justin Morneau and Jason Kubel. Way to go. 2-7.
Top of the 6th:
Jason Bartlett, you are a god. Solo homer: 3-7. C'mon guys, let's DO this thing!
Hmm. Followed by two straight outs. Not much of a rally, but there's still plenty of baseball tonight if the pitching holds up and the bats don't go cold. I am keeping the faith.
Bottom of the 6th:
The boys bail Julio out of some trouble with a sweet double play. When we're still down by 4 it's not quite enough to inspire the Happy Dance....but it's close.
Top of the 7th:
I have have gotten up to find a baseball cap to wear all rally-like, all the while mumbling things like "goddamned cleveland..." and "F&#! Grady Sizemore...."
Just like that Cuddy doubles. Then Jason Kubel walks...
I start warming up and stretching for the Happy Dance.....
And then there's a pitching change and Mike Redmond gets into a triple play. Now I feel a little bit like throwing up.
Bottom of the 7th:
Helloooo Matty. Guerrier, that is.
I really hate Kenny Lofton. And I only like sac flies when they are OURS. hmph. 3-8.
Top of the 8th:
I make an emergency trip to the grocery for cat litter because my cat doesn't like the new litter she got today. I am further side-tracked when my stop at the ATM results in me receiving three $5 bills from 2003 that are still brand new and have consecutive serial numbers. This is the monetary equivalent of "something shiny" and I spend several minutes examining them.
I return when it's the....
Top of the 9th
and Jason Kubel is the 3rd out. 3-8. I can only assume that I didn't really miss much.
I would again like to repeat that Cleveland is really, really not as good as they appear to be when we happen to be playing them. I have every hope that this realization will also come to the players sometime between now and tomorrow, and they will do something amazing with the rest of this series.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Jason Bartlett. Two triples in ONE game? THIS season?!
That boy must have enjoyed his day in the blog boyfriend sunshine so much that he just had to have another.
Playing a significant role in securing the team's first four game sweep is definitely worthy of some more lovin'. So for that, Jason Bartlett, you have joined the ranks of Torii Hunter and Michael Cuddyer as a "Back-to-Back Boyfriend." Which actually sounds a lot dirtier than it is. (Like "Punto.")
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Don't get me wrong, it's always a little terrifying when Joe Mauer, or anyone really, leaves the game injured (and it's always a little sketchy to see Mike Redmond as a pinch runner....).
Tonight was good. There was definite goodness. And rightness. And awesomeness.
This is how things are supposed to be. We score lots of scrappy runs, and our opponents are impotent at the plate. Not vice versa.
But cheer up Baltimore......at least you aren't the White Sox.
But I'm exhausted right now, and I have to work way too early in the morning, and the rain delay derailed my plans for an early bedtime tonight. Maybe they should have a dome..... :)
Friday, August 24, 2007
So, needless to say, today was a pretty crappy day for me. Aside from sometimes looking down at my Boof shirt and thinking "PLEASE win tonight!," I couldn't even THINK about baseball until my drive home at midnight. By that point, I couldn't take it anymore and [recklessly, I know] checked the box score on my phone's internet.
Boof's "W" tonight was quite literally the only good thing about my day today. I'm not even sure Boof himself could be much happier about it than I am.
So, thank you Boof, for salvaging an otherwise horrific day and keeping me from sinking completely into the depths of despair tonight. No wonder I picked you as my very own Baseball Boyfriend. I heart you. (And with your heroic making-me-happy-when-I-am-blue-ness tonight, you're actually officially better at being my boyfriend than any of my real boyfriends have been. Which probably says more about them than about you. But I digress.)
Special thanks to Nick Punto and Jason Kubel for being fantastic too. And everyone else. I heart you all. Please win tomorrow too, ok?
Thursday, August 23, 2007
It was a chase for B.O.D. They all want it so bad. I thought Cuddy was going to get a hat-trick but then Kubel popped up to say “Hey, don’t forget about me” then I had to think about LNP who was doing great things and there is also Jason Bartlett to consider if not for his performance tonight then just for the fact that I have missed him. However, I really feel that the man I picked is the most deserving. I thought that poor boy would never get another win under his belt. Boof has waited patiently, for weeks, to be The Boyfriend of The Day and so he is.
Boof pitch good.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
The Boyfriend of The Day. . . Michael Cuddyer
I blame the fact that our ritual cotton candy milkshakes were NOT made by the normal Milkshake Man. Instead it was made by Apprentice Milkshake Boy, and the consistency was different. More watery. Since this was the only deviation from our normal routine [that AND the fact that we walked counter-clockwise to our gate instead of clockwise] I believe it to be the main culprit. We won't let that happen again.
It was a pretty depressing game though, in all seriousness. It hurt. I don't want to talk about it.
It was also Lutheran Night at the Dome which led to the most audience participatory, harmonized and enthusiastic singing of the National Anthem yet. It also led to 50 bazillion buses clogging up the streets outside. It was also Royal Sparkle Night, which led to lots of tiaras and poor footwear choices. From where we were sitting, it also may have been Geriatric Night.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Twins notes: Offense struggling
Thank goodness for the breaking news flash. Otherwise I might not have noticed. Whew.
The good [sort of] news is that the boys scored more runs in tonight's loss than in the entire series against the Rangers. That's.........progress.
Well, the other good [for me] news is that I had three Twins in my fantasy line-up tonight, and they happen to be the very same three Twins who were responsible for all 4 RBI. Pats on the backs to Cuddy, Redmond and Morneau for doing great for me tonight. Even though I took Johjima out of the line-up in order not to split loyalty and then he had 3 RBI and 2 runs. I'm not upset. Bro's before Ho's, or something like that.
And a great catch from Nick Punto to top things off.
They are all trying to be awesome. They clearly want to be fantastic for us. It's just really hard sometimes.
Maybe Garza should join the new Starting Pitchers Spinning Class.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
We could have lost 0-6. or 0-7. or 0-348.
When you combine a complete lack of action at the plate with not-so-awesome pitching....things go badly.
Not much more to say about it.
Dear Jarrod Saltalamacchia,
I used to like you....because you have the longest name in baseball, and it's fun to say. It's too big for our screen, which is funny to me. And people call you "Salty," and that is super cute. Sometimes I wished that I was your friend so that I could call you "Salty" too and not miss out on the fun.
But now you play in the AL, and you seem to like to hit homeruns off of our pitchers. So, I don't really like you anymore. I'm sorry.
If you stop hitting homeruns and otherwise being good at baseball, I will probably like you again. It's just something to consider.
P.S. Say "hi" to Willy for us.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Last night is the reason I refused to jump on that increasingly large Anti-Nick Punto Bandwagon. I KNEW Little Nicky Punto would come through for us eventually. He is magical and we love him, and we don't care what anyone else says. Everyone needs to stop drinking the Hater-ade. Seriously.
I have not been happier this season than I was last night watching Nick fly into 3rd. Until he then touched home and Joe Mauer picked him up in triumph, that is. Then THAT was the happiest I've been all season. I am so glad we were at the game last night.
Although, it WAS really distracting to be like 5 feet away from Joe Nathan throwing heat in the 'pen. My internal dialogue went something like this: "Ooh look! Joe Nathan!.....NO! There is a game going on over there. Must. Watch. It..........Ooh look! Joe Nathan!....." etc. etc.
Judging by the number of female fans in the vicinity that also kept turning their heads back and forth between the game and the 'pen, I'm guessing I was not the only one waging that particular battle in my head.
Carlos Silva pitched great again, but couldn't get the win. I feel bad for him. I think he pitches better with high socks. Good call, Carlos.
Mike Redmond DH'd, which was awesome because we got to scream loudly for him, baffling all of the other fans around us. We will always scream loudly for Redmond. It's our thing.
And we were greatly entertained throughout the game by randomly yelling "Car-men!" [you have to say it like you say "Mar-co" when you're playing Marco Polo] at Carmen Cali every time we saw him. I like Carmen.
The magic of the Cotton Candy milkshakes still holds. "If you drink it, they will win." I was really big on PREACHING about the Power of the Milkshake to random strangers last night too. But that could have been the Hubert's pre-game vodka ritual talking.
The game was excellent, there was a lot of good defense, and we even got a few hits. Things were going along nicely. Then they decided to start warming up pitchers. Have you ever watched a baseball game when a very attractive man is throwing a ball at 90mph right in front of your face? If you have then you already know but if not then I’m here to tell you it is VERY distracting. In the tenth inning( yes, tenth) we were just about out of pitchers and things were starting to look a little bleak when Nick Punto came up to bat. “Swing away Nicky” we yelled. He did, they dropped the ball and LNP ran like a pony then he flew, in to third base. In all my life, I have never seen a man so happy with himself. Joe was up there was a wild pitch, he waved Nicky in and we won. Surprise! Nick Punto won the game and our hearts all over again. The Boyfriend of The Day. . . Little Nicky Punto Tiny Super Hero.
This B.O.D. brought to you by blue uniforms and cotton candy milkshake magic.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Those Girls will be at the Dome tonight, with our "Free Hugs for Baseball Players" sign, drinking magical good-luck cotton candy milkshakes and being awesome in general.
We better win tonight. I'm missing out on the Eau Claire Express' first home game of the NWL finals. Good luck Express boys. Please win so you can play again on Saturday. I like it when you win.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Who's your daddy?!
Torii F'n Hunter!
Torii owns Seattle. From Puget Sound to the Fremont Troll to the myriad of tourist-attracting fish-tossing places. Torii has completely and thoroughly made the Emerald City his bitch.
And I like it.
Up next: Let's mess with Texas, shall we?
I get a little skittish around possible negative patterns.
So, I'm not getting too happy. Yet.
I'm playing hard to get.
"Oh. You're all super adorable and score lots of runs and stuff? That's.....nice. I hadn't really noticed. But, um....good for you. Ok, talk to you later."
When really, inside I'm all "ILOVEYOUALLSOMUCHTHANKYOUFOR WINNINGPLEASEDOITAGAINTODAY!*pant*pant*pant*"
But on the outside? Cool as the proverbial cucumber. Seriously.
Oh, and they wore blue tonight. I don’t know if you noticed but the last five or six boyfriends of the day have all been won in blue uniforms. Just something to think about.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Have I not been a good and faithful baseball servant?
I never leave games early. I never get there late. I never compromise my loyalty. I stand up and sing during EVERY 7th inning stretch (even when I don't feel like it), I wear my rally cap when necessary with zero thought given to how completely ridiculous I look. And most of all, when things are bad, I don't give up on the team (Hey, remember the mid-late 90's? I DO).
So...um....is this a test? Am I the Job of Baseball fandom? If I am, I can take it. Hell, bring on some locusts and boils and Yankees. I'll handle whatever you throw at me, and I'll STILL randomly find myself singing the "We're Gonna Win Twins" song in my car sometimes. If those frickin' Red Sox fans can go almost 90 years, I can too.
We may lose, repeatedly and painfully, but I'm never gonna break. So, just knock it off, OK?
Monday, August 13, 2007
Ah, but post-season playoffs for the Northwoods League start tonight! I went this morning to pick up tickets for the Eau Claire Express vs. Green Bay Bullfrogs matchup tonight. [The St. Cloud Riverbats and the Duluth Huskies will be duking it out for the Northern Division] It was very exciting. It's the Express' first trip to the post-season, and baseball and happiness are everywhere.
I love it.
Oh my god, we're going to bash us some bullfrogs tonight!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
You know what?
Unconditional love is a bitch.
I'd like to be mad at someone, but instead I just feel like handing out hugs.
Mauer took some fielding practice at 1B. What?! Just the thought of this made me a little dizzy and throw-uppy. That just seems......weird. Not that he wouldn't make a fine first/third-baseman/outfielder/catcher/designated-hitter......but I don't handle change well. Let's keep this to a minimum.
I think there are two likely scenarios for tomorrow.
A) Boof is going to ride up to the mound on a white horse (or pony, if you will), and save the day with a brilliant performance....feeling the overwhelming psychic need to make me happy and prove himself worthy of my ongoing love and devotion. If he nails Izturis in the nuts, that is just bonus points.
B) Boof is going to pitch like post-May Boof, [i.e. pretty good...quality, even, but not quite good enough to keep up with the rest of the team's lack of offensive prowess] and we are going to be swept by the Angels.
I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for Plan A.
Let's go back to being inconsistent and winning at least every two or three days.
I am just full of good ideas.
I really thought we had it in the bag tonight. When we managed to put 2 [TWO!!!!] whole runs on the board, I prematurely did the Happy Dance.
I should NEVER do the Happy Dance until that final out. My bad.
I have learned something from all of this. A very important lesson.
That lesson is: Macier Izturis is the devil, and his main goal in life is to make me sad and miserable.
He is now joining the ranks of Nick Swisher, Frank Thomas, Grady Sizemore and Sidney Ponson on my list of baseball players that I am convinced spend a great deal of their free-time plotting various ways to ruin my life. I think they all have secret meetings somewhere.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
But I love Scotty Baker.
I want some gen-u-wine ass-kicking tonight.
Um...with the Twins being the kickers, and the Angels being the asses. (Sometimes it's necessary to be VERY specific with your wishes or the universe will look for loopholes with which to screw you over. The universe can be a real wisenheimer like that.)
EDIT--It's the FIFTH INNING, and I've officially given up hope for the previously-requested ass-kicking. I will now settle for a miraculous, seat-of-their-pants, "how'd-they-do-that?!" pieced together Twins win. Remember when we could manufacture some runs? That was nice.
TOP OF THE SIXTH INNING--One run! Yes! See? Our goal-setting exercise is working! I'd urge the team to try for two (or, god save us, even THREE), but I don't want to put too much pressure on anyone.
BOTTOM OF THE SIXTH--OH FOR GOOD CHRIST, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. OK. It's OK. Now we just need SIX more runs to win. Six more. We can do that. [with a time machine, maybe.] And in goes Rincon. Awesome.
THE MORNING AFTER--Um, yeah. I went to bed in the 7th. I'm kind of glad I did. Ugh. It's like there is a physical pain. Please stop hurting me. Let's win today. I'm cheering for the Yankees and Oakland [Swisssshhher!], here. Don't make me hate myself in vain, OK?
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Like yesterday, for example. We got eleven runs, but we only really NEEDED the five runs to win.
So, perhaps we could start conserving the extras to use on another day. Like today, when an extra two runs would really help.
Sheesh, that would still leave us four whole runs for tomorrow!
I am a genius.
Seriously though, this was rough. I'm getting emotional whiplash. Happy! No, Sad! Happy again! Very Sad!
Now we're heading West, and I'm gonna need more Happys than Sads. OK, boys? You can do that for me, right? Goal-setting is always a helpful exercise. Maybe we can set a group goal of getting at least one run every game, so that our pitchers don't have to pitch a shut-out every game in order to even have a chance at winning. I think that's a good goal. Let's work on that. Good talk. Go team!
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
I was at a local semi-pro ballgame tonight for work, so I kept up on the Twins score on my cellphone. I frequently cheered at inappropriate times, and screamed/squealed the score a couple times. At one point I also yelled "Let's go Chicago!" REALLY loudly. If I was a little more normal, I'd probably be embarrassed.
Looks like the middle of the rotation exorcised their demons and woke up the bats.
It feels good to win. More please.
Also, I love the White Sox tonight. I kind of want to make out with A.J. right now.
Is that wrong? [Don't answer that.]
Good game boys.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
I'm not a fan of Bonds, so I'm not exactly thrilled with this development, personally. But there are both good and bad things about the deed being done:
Good Thing: Barry hit it at home, so Steven A. Smith can finally stop singing the tired "If Barry breaks the record away, it will ruin the entire sport of baseball forever" song. I have seriously heard him say this at least 5 different times in less than 2 weeks.
Bad Thing: With this out of the way, Steven A. will have more time to devote to preaching about the Michael Vick soap opera.
Good Thing: ESPN2 can go back to showing other programming besides Giants games.
Bad Thing: I won't be able to watch Noah Lowry as much anymore. I DO love him.
Good Thing: Most analysts agree that this record won't mean much, simply because it isn't likely to stand very long.
Bad Thing: This tempts me to cheer for A-Rod when he hits homeruns, and then I feel dirty.
I'm mostly just glad it's over.
But good job Justin and Torii. I'm glad your bats worked better tonight. Doubles today, homeruns tomorrow. Baby-steps onto the field.
I KNEW we should have asked the Milkshake Man to sell us a bucket of Cotton Candy mix for away games.
Monday, August 6, 2007
And I really dropped the ball this time.
I feel like I should personally apologize to the team.
Dear Twins Players and Coaches,Gosh, it's been a craptastic evening all around. Losing wouldn't feel QUITE as bad if we could just get on the board. ONE run would have been nice. ONE.
I am sorry. I was not at the game tonight....and....well.....you know what happened.
I made the situation even worse, because I COULD have been at the game. I won the AM1500 putt-putt game yesterday, and when the boy asked if I wanted tickets for tonight, or for the 17th....I said the 17th. I was tired from the weekend, and I dreaded the thought of driving back to Minneapolis again today, and dealing with traffic, and I'm getting poorer by the second. But I was selfish, and wrong. I regret it all now. I would take it back if I could. If I could make like Cher and turn back time, I would happily shout "I'll take tickets for tomorrow!" and I would gleefully shell out $50 to fill my gas tank and I would not complain when I was stuck in traffic for eons. Alas, what's done is done. It won't happen again. You're going on the road now, and not being independently wealthy, I cannot follow. But mark my words, I WILL be there on August 17th. By GOD I will be there. I will make it up to all of you. Maybe I will bring you my magical chocolate chip cookies, if you're really lucky.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Also the good-luck rubbed off on me too, as I got to see Boof before the game
AND I won free tickets playing putt-putt golf. I am SO frickin' good at putt-putt, it's ridiculous.
It has been a productive weekend for Those Girls.
Without a laptop, we were pretty removed from civilization for the past two days, so I thought it was weird that the "Lewwww Ford Fan Club" banner wasn't there at the Dome today, and made mention of that.....only to later realize that it was because Lewwww Ford HIMSELF wasn't there at the Dome. I also am very glad to realize that Carmen Cali WAS there, because I swore I saw him playing catch with Tyner between innings and didn't say anything because I thought I might be going crazy. Well, craziER, anyway.
Friday, August 3, 2007
EDIT-so we shipped Jeff off to the D-backs to make room for Cuddy coming off the DL. Huh.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
I love Minneapolis, and this has been a horrible night. It sounds cliche, but my thoughts and prayers are with everyone involved.
You cannot catch a break, apparently. I'm sorry. I still heart you. If you ever need a hug, just let me know. ]
Interesting [to ME] note: the family that made this sign, and sat a couple rows in front of us tonight, is the very same family that sat in front of us at the Friday night game in Milwaukee. It was a nice little reunion. I wish we would randomly run in to some of the other cool Twins fans we have met during various baseball-y adventures.....
In other news, we didn't make any more trades. Which pretty much means we gave away Luis Castillo for some magic beans. And Terry Ryan made himself sound pretty bad, in my opinion:
"Over the course of time, we're going to have to stretch together a pretty good winning streak to get back in this thing," Ryan said. "We've got two complete months left. But we're so inconsistent leading up to this point that it's dangerous to think that we're going to put that stretch together unless we get more consistent.
"Now, do we have the personnel in house? We're hoping that some players start to step up to some degree, and we're hoping to get [Michael] Cuddyer back at some point at 100 percent. When it's all said and done, we've got a heck of a lot of work cut out for us to get back in this thing beyond the 6 1/2 or 7 games, because Detroit and Cleveland are good."
And yet, just since he said that today, we won tonight, and Detroit and Cleveland lost. So, we've moved up to 6 games out in the Division race and 5 games for the Wild Card. Go figure.
Well, we haven't given up on this season, and we're the ones shelling out $ for tickets. And from the looks of things, the team isn't ready to give up either. So, if and when things turn out fantastically, I hope Ryan doesn't plan on taking any of that credit himself. Yes, the team does have a lot of hard work ahead, and unfortunately, Ryan really just made it harder.
I also want to take this opportunity to thank MySpace Tammy for her Cotton Candy Milkshake Magic. Thanks MySpace Tammy.